Lust for Life
by alex-hp7
Summary: "'Cause we're the masters of our own fate / We're the captains of our own souls" "They say only the good die young / That just ain't right"
1. Information

Title of my new fanfic is also a title of the song Lust for Life by Lana Del Rey feat. the Weeknd. I love Lana Del Rey and her songs fit this fanfic pretty well. Lust for Life lyrics are perfect but, of course, don't take them literally.

The lines that grasp the story perfectly are:

 _"'Cause we're the masters of our own fate_

 _We're the captains of our own souls"_

 _"They say only the good die young_

 _That just ain't right"_

* * *

Plot:

Mizushima Irene Ayaka is a Japanese Shadowhunter. She and her uncle, after her parents died, moved to the USA. Even though the Japanese weren't allowed to legally emigrate to the US until 1885, they had got permission from the government and Japanese Enclave – government and Enclave because Mizushima Orochi is a mundane (a businessman), his brother – Ayaka's father had Ascended, after 3 years Mr. Mizushima was acquainted with Mortmain, decided to join his Pandemonium Club and moved to London. Ayaka's uncle is a great liar – just like Mortmain, he forced Ayaka to work in a brothel as a prostitute while he worked on the evil plans with Mortmain.

* * *

Keep in mind that Mizushima is the surname.

It may sound confusing, it's explained more in the story itself. Of course, I won't dump all the information in one chapter so don't worry if you won't understand something in the first chapter. For now, here you have a timeline:

Ayaka was born in 1861, moved to USA in 1873 at the age of 12, moved to London in 1876 at the age of 15.

Keep in mind Mizushima is the surname!

I also included some Japanese mythology which will be revealed in the later chapters and I'll foreshadow it. Don't google 'Orochi' unless you want to be spoilt. Now that I have told you what not to google, I bet you will google it. In that case when the time comes in the story, don't write comments like 'I knew this would happen,' or 'You couldn't make it more obvious,' etc. You get the picture. And if you don't like foreshadowing... well, there's nothing I can do about that. If you don't like the story, don't read it, there's no need to be mean. Constructive criticism is welcome of course.

Those who read Throne of Glass know that Celaena has also other name and SJM refers to Celaena as a different person. Since my OC has also two names, I will try to avoid this mistake and use both names for the same person. Irene/Ayaka won't turn OOC, she'll just grow as a character.

* * *

You've probably noticed the pairing isn't Jessa. I know, it's a shock. I wanted to write my own character and I love Jem, so those are the reasons.

 **The story is set before the beginning of Clockwork Angel and Tessa will appear later in the story.**

* * *

I also planned special scenes for you, for now I have written the story of Jem's parents and one really sexy scene between Charlotte and Henry (because they took their time in TID and they deserve to be happy). ;)

* * *

 **Rated M** for language, violence and sexual themes (it's Victorian London, Ayaka's a prostitute and I don't want to sugarcoat it).

 **Disclaimer** : TID and everything in it belongs to Cassandra Clare. My own are only the characters Ayaka and Mr. Mizushima, and the idea.

* * *

 **I hope you'll like it and leave some reviews :).**


	2. Chapter 1 - Your Own Blood

Stench from dirty streets of East End filled her lungs. It burned in her throat as she watched the sky growing darker on the roof of one of the brothels with "exotic" girls in Shadwell. Dusk was Ayaka's least favourite part of the day. It was silence before the storm. She simply sat and waited for the worst to come. Ayaka wished she could move time.

It wasn't _always_ the worst. Sometimes she got an easy customer. Some fell asleep on the bed before she did anything, she had to thank alcohol for that. But only partially because the second group of men were bad drunkards, who were even worse in such state than when they were sober. Then there was the third category – rich and fake. They put on a façade during the day that made them look innocent and pious. However, once the sun got down, they told their coachmen to take them to the Limehouse or Shadwell, or some other East London district with a whorehouse. As they got out of their carriage, they tipped the coachmen not to tell anyone (especially their wives) and entered the building of vices.

She shivered in November air and pulled the fabric of a fake kimono closer to her body. It was insulting to wear it. It wasn't right and what she did when she wore it wasn't right either.

"Ayaka!" she heard her uncle shout her given name.

She looked down and saw him. He was known to the public as Mr. Mizushima or Mizushima-san, a business partner of Axel Mortmain. He shared some features with her, due to their common ethnicity, but otherwise he didn't look special. A rich Japanese, nothing new to her.

"Get down here!" he shouted another order in Japanese and she obeyed.

Ayaka didn't really have much choice. At least she had a place to sleep and food to eat. There were women who didn't have that and had to sell themselves right on the streets. Her age didn't help either. She was sixteen and officially under the care of her uncle. She had tried to escape a few times but he'd always found her. Probably asked one of the more cooperating warlocks to do a tracking spell. After those poor attempts and beatings she received afterwards, she gave up.

She passed the narrow corridors, that smelled like cheap perfume and echoed faked moans of other prostitutes, and stepped in the small hall. Ayaka tried to ignore the prostitutes in what could be called a sitting room. The men there were particularly loud. Ayaka noticed another man with her uncle. He was a white man, shorter, with greying whiskers* and light grey eyes. He eyed her from head to toe. She refused to shudder under his gaze and decided it'd be better to place a polite toothless smile on her face.

"Mr. Mortmain, let me introduce you to my niece, Ayaka, or Irene, whichever you prefer to call her. Ayaka, this is Dr. Axel Mortmain I told you about."

 _So, this is the famous Mortmain who turned my life upside down_ _…_ _and for worse_ , Ayaka thought. She suppressed her anger and gave him a small curtsy.

Mortmain smiled but there was something evil behind it. He glanced approvingly at his partner.

"After such long discussion with you, I believe this is a perfect treat," said Mortmain. "Thank you."

Her uncle smirked and nodded. Then turned to Ayaka and ordered her, "Go to your room and prepare!" After that he added in Japanese, "You don't want to disappoint and embarrass me, do you?" The threatening edge in his voice made her move.

Ayaka sat down on the bed with red silky sheets and tried to still her shaking hands.

Mortmain started it all. That man turned her uncle into a bigger monster than he already was. She missed those times in America before he met Mortmain. Mr. Mizushima was mean to her when she didn't listen to him or talked back, but at least he let her stay in their house with English textbooks. She was occupied with the language. One day she asked whether she could go to the Los Angeles Institute and train there. He beat her. It was at that time when he gave her the name Irene. He told her it meant peace and that's what she should represent – peace, meaning never talking back, always obeying him. Her uncle was locking her up every time he left the house. But it was still better than being a hooker who was about to have sex with a man who changed so much.

She heard the door close and turned around. He already took off his cloak and tossed it on a nearby chair.

"Your uncle mentioned you're beautiful but now I can see how much. I'd say that those Chinese and Indian girls next door can't compare but I haven't met them all yet," he chuckled.

She watched him stand couple of inches in front of her. Ayaka noticed him glancing at her black Marks. It was the only thing that still connected her to her parents. And the best thing about them was that no one could take them away from her. No one except her own people. Most people here thought they were some "exotic" tattoos and she liked lying about what they actually meant. Their expressions were priceless.

"I see. At first I didn't want to believe Orochi when he mentioned he had a brother who Ascended to become a Shadowhunter. Fascinating."

"You're a talker, aren't you? Mr. Mortmain." She wanted to change the subject.

He laughed. "I guess I am, my apologies."

"What do you wish me to do, Mr. Mortmain?" she asked, this time in sweeter voice.

"Distract me. I heard you're quite a dancer," his voice was mocking and she guessed why.

When she was younger she tried to imitate Geishas' dances, poorly of course. Ayaka bet her uncle told Mortmain about it. She was just a common whore, Geisha was a woman with better social standing and was highly educated in arts. She was just… poor imitation.

"There's no music," she said.

He sneered, "You won't need it when you'll be dancing under me."

* * *

He wanted her on her knees then on all fours. He was repulsive. Mortmain's hands were cold and rough on her hips. He wanted her to beg him so she did. It hurt, he was violent with her and didn't care for nothing but himself and his own satisfaction. She had to bear up. If her uncle found out she wasn't good, he would do something he enjoyed much - beating her. He liked it because she was a Shadowhunter who healed fast. But her blood couldn't heal those belt scars on her back anymore.

After he was done with her, he left. It was a shame he didn't talk of any plans he and her uncle were talking about before they came into the brothel. He did talk a lot but not about stuff that would be useful in some way.

 _He_ _'_ _s clever, I give him that,_ she thought.

She knew that when she had an important client no one else would bother her that night. Ayaka continued lying on the bed until her breathing slowed and her legs stopped shaking.

She wanted to get out of that room smelling of his cologne, sweat and sex as quickly as possible.

Ayaka washed herself as thoroughly to get rid of Mortmain's touch behind Chinese screen. Being the owner's niece had its advantages – he had the water brought up here and the food wasn't as terrible as in other places. He turned this previously very poor brothel into something more hygienic (no wonder Mortmain wanted to get rid of it even for a cheap price). It still wasn't ideal but better than nothing.

She put on clothes she sewed for herself almost a year ago. It was supposed to resemble Shadowhunter gear but it was less impressive. She was flexible in it though and that was the point. Ayaka put a dagger in a thin long pocket she made later. The pockets were practical when she went out stealing things, mostly knives. The dagger was one of the things she nicked from a random stranger in Limehouse.

When she walked out of the room. It was quieter at three in the morning. She didn't have much free time or just time outside the brothel so Ayaka had to use every opportunity she had to get out. And not just on the roof.

However, it was the starting point. She jumped from one roof to another, enjoying the fast passing moments of freedom. Luckily, the early snow from a week ago melted in the rain. Roofs were slippery but thanks to her Shadowhunter training she received until she was twelve, she didn't have a problem to keep her balance.

When Ayaka decided, she had enough of sneaking on the roofs, she jumped off one building and walked her way through the dark London streets.

She paused when she got to the St. Paul's Cathedral. She always liked it. The huge building looming over her as if it was judging her. Well, it's a place of God, purity and innocence. It represented everything she was not. She liked it nonetheless. She liked the architecture, the area of St. Paul's made her feel peaceful. Like the rest of the world didn't exist and it was just her and the Cathedral. When Ayaka first discovered it, she imagined herself as one of the tourists.

 _But I_ _'_ _m just a filthy immigrant_ , she thought. _Asian and a woman._

* * *

Silver haired boy paused playing his violin. _Yin fen_ kept him fully awake for hours but when he looked out of the window, he thought he was dreaming for a moment.

A girl was walking carelessly on the quiet Fleet Street. He also saw a Dahak demon moving her way from one of the small crossing alleys.

He quickly put on the leather straps with knives over his shoulders, put on shoes and grabbed his dragon-headed cane and dashed out of the Institute onto the streets.

* * *

He stabbed the demon right into its heart with his cane before it could attack her. Both the demon and the girl let out a shriek. The demon disappeared, leaving only the ichor on the pavement. The girl was holding a dagger in front of her as a defence and still stared at the place where the Dahak disappeared.

She put down her arm and looked at him with wide eyes. He noticed she looked almost like his mother. Fierce look in her eyes, a small build but a strong spirit. Until she started laughing. He only looked at her in bewilderment.

"Sugoi!**"

 _So, she isn_ _'_ _t Chinese then_ , he thought with a slight disappointment. A Japanese. He narrowed his eyes and focused on her right hand fanning herself to cool down her flushed face from laughter. Japanese with a Voyance rune.

"Is this how you Englishmen save damsels in distress? Although, I haven't laughed in a while so I should thank you."

Japanese with American accent. He was confused even more. Who was this girl? What was a Shadowhunter he didn't know and had never met doing on the streets without any proper weapon?

She eyed him from head to toe. He now understood her laughter a bit more. Jem realised he wore his night clothes. A shirt half-unbuttoned, worn-out black trousers with a small hole on his left knee and messy hair. And considering it was November, he must have looked pretty stupid. He wasn't exactly a prototype of a hero. He was sure Will would've been more skilled at this sort of thing and better looking even in such shabby clothes.

"I'm not exactly an Englishman and you're not just a damsel," he told her.

She stopped laughing and looked at him, fright flicked in her eyes before it was replaced by cold detachment.

* * *

"May I know the name of my saviour?" she asked the silver haired boy and observed him.

He was tall and lean but handsome. He looked like at least one of his parents was Chinese. Besides the curve of his eyes, their silver colour, widened pupils and silver hair gave him away. Many Chinese people liked to indulge themselves in drugs, opium for mundanes and _yin fen_ for Downworlders and… well, Shadowhunters it seemed. She noticed parabatai rune on his neck. The rune was strikingly black against his pale, almost white, skin. The contrast fascinated her and didn't want to take her eyes off him. She also glimpsed a jade pendant shaped like a fist hanging from his neck.

"Only if I may know the name of the damsel," he replied, his posture and expression alert.

"You may not," she answered quickly and regretted it immediately.

He was her only chance out. She could ask him for help… but how could she trust him? He may have saved her life but if he or any other Shadowhunter found out she was a whore… she didn't want to think about that. They might even strip her off her runes. They would despise her, tell her she's not worthy to remain one of them.

Before he could further inquire, she turned and began running the opposite direction.

"Hey! Wait!" he yelled after her.

Ayaka heard him running after her. He was definitely faster than her, he caught up in no time and gripped her wrist before she could run any further. She stopped but withdrew and pulled her wrist out of his touch. She had remembered one of the drunk men, he had grabbed her wrist, yanking her up the stairs. He was whispering something in a strong Cockney accent, she didn't understand him, and fucked her against the doorframe. It happened two days after her sixteenth birthday. It wasn't the last time he showed up and took her. He was always rough and ignored her begging. After his fourth visit, she didn't bother to beg anymore.

The boy must have noticed he frightened her and stepped back. She forced herself not to shed tears right in front of him and put on a cold mask.

"I won't ask you if you don't want to tell me. But you should at least have something with runes on it," he said and reached for his leather strap and took two of his throwing knives. He handed them to her and smiled softly. "If you want to roam around London at night, you should have these. I can promise you won't miss a target."

Ayaka gulped. Her eyes were darting from the knives to his face. He looked honest.

 _Don_ _'_ _t they all?_ whispered a voice in her head.

"Tell me your name," she whispered but managed to keep her voice steady.

The boy bit his lip, adverted his gaze for a while but looked back at her.

"Jem. Short for James," he smiled again. Why was he smiling so much? He may have taken the drug recently but he didn't look intoxicated. He must have been on the drug for a long time then. It sparked her curiosity even more. There weren't many people who could survive on _yin fen_ longer than a few months.

She took the knives from him and glanced at his gentle face one more time before she ran back to _East Magic_.

* * *

 _I wrote the word "exotic" in quotation marks because I don't believe Asians are exotic, they're just people. And there's more of them so how can they be exotic?_

 _Also, the name of the brothel is very unoriginal, maybe even cringe-worthy. I'm sorry about that, I'm really bad at making up names._

 _* the word 'sideburn' originated in 1885-1890 and this story is set in 1877-1878 so I wanted to use more historically accurate word. As I am writing this fanfic, I'm looking up some words I'm not sure about in a dictionary to check when they were created. Maybe some words won't be accurate but I'm not going to look up every word._

 _** great/amazing_


	3. Chapter 2 - Aiming for the Target

_Thanks to everyone who reads this story :)._

* * *

When she got to the brothel, it was almost morning, everyone was sleeping after a long night. Ayaka rushed to her room unnoticed. She sat down on her bed and looked at the knives she received.

Silver, just like him. The handle was engraved with runes. She recognized all of them and felt a sense of pride in her that she did. Ayaka was a good student with had excellent teachers – her parents.

Angel, she missed them.

They had moved to a new Tokyo Institute when she was seven, a couple of months after Tokyo lost its old name Edo and replaced Kyoto as a capital of the Empire of Japan. Ayaka liked her life in Kyoto better. It was more colourful and alive. Tokyo was more dangerous, more demons, more raids on them in various surrounding areas. The last that involved her parents was when they ran to Tokyo Bay. Before they left, mom told her to wait for them and father assured her she would be save in the Institute.

After nearly six hours spent waiting, Inquisitor walked into the Institute with her uncle. She was surprised to see her only living relative. The last time she saw him she was only an infant and couldn't remember the encounter. He shouldn't have had been there. But Inquisitor was a corrupted man, she knew that much, and her uncle was a man with lots of money, the Sight and a dead brother – that made Ayaka his only family because he hadn't been married. Ayaka had guessed Orochi pulled emotional and financial strings. What she was told was that her uncle wanted her to continue training in Los Angeles, where he was spreading his business. Of course, that didn't happen.

In California, after nearly three years they lived there, he met a man named Axel Mortmain who'd been there on a business trip – Orochi's words not hers. Some weeks passed and they were on a ship to London. Mortmain was waiting in London for them. Her uncle placed her in brothel he had bought from Mortmain for lower price than normal. Orochi had told her the discount was a gift for partnering with Mortmain. She almost threw up out of the carriage on their way there, but her parents taught her better.

Ayaka never understood why her uncle hated her so much. It intensified after he met Mortmain. She was certain that man did something to Orochi. There was nothing more she wanted than finding out what Mortmain did and what he planned.

She was stroking the blades with blank face. She jumped out when she heard the noise of slamming door. Ayaka had to hide the knives. No one, especially her uncle, could find them.

She quickly changed into more brothel friendly attire and hid the blades in the folds of her gear. Ayaka had a hiding place for that under a loose floorboard under the bed.

* * *

Jem spent the rest of the night thinking about the girl he had met. He sat absently on the wooden chair in his room, head in clouds. He almost fell of the chair when Will, his parabatai who didn't know how to knock, stormed in the room.

"Rise and shine–" he started in loud voice but then halted when he saw Jem in the chair. Still in his night clothes. Will glanced at the bed that seemed exactly the same as yesterday evening.

"You were sitting there the whole time?" Will asked. "You know you have a bed right here, right?"

Jem sighed, got up and turned to Will, "Yes. I'm an addict not a blind man." He crossed his arms and leaned against the table filled with music sheets. He considered telling Will but it was pointless to keep it a secret.

"Something very interesting happened last night."

"Oh, you just now started to notice the changes?" teased Will and sat himself in one of the armchairs by the fireplace.

"What?" Jem looked at him in question.

"Nothing. Continue," Will said and waved his hand vaguely.

"I saved a girl from a Dahak…"

"And she didn't have the Sight so it was all for nothing."

"No," Jem answered, still patient with his parabatai. "She's a Shadowhunter."

Will aimed his striking blue eyes from his nails to Jem. "A Shadowhunter?" he asked slowly. He probably thought Jem was losing his mind already.

"I never met her before. She was a complete stranger and even refused to tell me her name."

"Rude," Will scowled.

"Then I gave her two of my throwing knives and she ran off," Jem finished.

"You gave her what?" Will raised his voice.

"She's a Shadowhunter and she even moved like one. She had Marks," Jem raised his hands in defence. "What she _didn_ _'_ _t_ have was a proper weapon, only a dagger but no weapons with runes on them. She didn't look like she wanted to come to the Institute. I helped a fellow Shadowhunter in need. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Throw her over your shoulder and carry her here for interrogation."

"No," Jem frowned. "You know I would never do that. And I already chased after her once after I asked her about her name. I wasn't going to run after her again."

Will nodded. "Maybe you're right. Gentleman never runs."

Jem couldn't fight back a smile but his face turned serious again.

"It appeared to me like it wasn't the first time she sneaked out like that. Maybe we should go out at night and find her."

Will gave him a devilish smirk. "You're suggesting roaming the streets of dark London with me?"

"Yes."

Will got up, strode over to Jem and pat him on the shoulders.

"That's what I wanted to hear. I'm proud of you. My Jem's finally grown up," Will wiped off a fake tear. Jem playfully hit his arm to stop.

* * *

Three days later she did what she usually did but this time her mind wandered off to Jem. He didn't tell her his surname but it was only fair. She didn't tell him her name at all.

She caught herself daydreaming, thinking of what kind of person _and_ Shadowhunter he probably was. He seemed nicer than other Shadowhunters she had ever met but that didn't mean he wasn't a good liar.

Her father was a proud Japanese man, one of those who thought the Chinese were filthy liars, deceivable bastards and so on. Maybe he had these opinions because he used to be a mundane who was persuaded to believe such opinions from early age. Shadowhunters didn't bother to have superstitions against other nationalities and ethnicities. Nothing of this sort mattered if they were proper, honourable and brave Nephilim.

Jem was the only distraction she allowed herself because she couldn't sneak out of _East Magic_. Third day brought such extremes that she thought of his pale face when another asshole was fucking her in her room. She tried not to scream his name. She would be in trouble, unless the man above her was also James. Ayaka didn't fall in love with Jem, no. She didn't even know him. But his face was still better than a face of any man who came to this place.

 _'_ _Jem, short for James_ , _'_ he told her with his posh accent that she could never achieve. _One of his parents must have been English then,_ she thought.

The man on top of her stopped grunting and pulled out. Put his trousers on, tossed her some coins and left.

 _Finally_ , she thought. _What a pig!_

Ayaka washed as much as she could. She put on a thick black robe with embroidered roses, wrapped it around her waist, put on some shoes, pinned her still wet hair at the back of her head and walked out. One of the Chinese whores was leading a man up the front stairs. He tried to grab her to join them but she slipped out of his hold.

"She should go and paint her face white," she heard the prostitute say.

Ayaka gritted her teeth. She hated this Geisha–shaming, as she called it, that came from Chinese girls. She wanted to snap something back at her but didn't want to draw attention to herself. That was the last thing she needed.

* * *

Will and Jem split up a few streets away. They both had glamour on so that the mundanes couldn't see them. Will would have been more worried about Jem if it weren't for that little trick. Jem loathed going to these dirty parts of London.

He turned a corner and found another brothel. The iron words _East Magic_ hanged above the entrance. When he noticed the girls, he figured why it was 'east'. He heard rumours that Mortmain, a rich businessman he didn't really pay attention to, sold this place to his Japanese partner.

One girl caught his sight. He was glamoured so she shouldn't have seen him. Unless… Unless she was that Shadowhunter girl Jem had saved! Will noticed a rune, half of it hidden beneath her black robe. Voyance rune was probably on her other hand since he didn't see it on her left hand.

She looked like she didn't know whether to hide somewhere or go to him and ask him what he wanted. She looked around, everyone seemed to be busy so she chose the second option. He leant sideways against the wall and crossed his arms and ankles.

She came up to him and asked harshly, "What do you want?"

"I am–"

"Jem's parabatai," she finished his sentence.

He blinked at her in surprise.

"How did you…"

"Saw his rune on the neck and you seem to be around his age so I guessed," she shrugged.

"We've been looking for you."

"You shouldn't be here," she said a hint of fear in her voice but she tried to keep it hidden. She looked over her shoulder quickly, then back at him.

"I don't care about that! We spent three days looking for this mysterious whore who happens to be a Shadowhunter. I'm not leaving!" he kept frowning and was irritated that she didn't cooperate more.

"Hey!"

Will looked behind her shoulder and saw a man, older than her, perhaps in his forties, dressed in an elegant suit, glaring at them. He saw Will too and started walking in their direction. She was definitely nervous now. She kept her gaze low.

"What does a Nephilim want with my niece?" he asked him right off the bat.

"I think you know what any man wants to do with your niece," Will smirked.

The man was eyeing him closely, then said, "You must be Will Herondale. The Nephilim boy wandering around East End almost every night."

"Can I borrow her for a moment?" he asked, ignoring the comment, he didn't even wait for an answer. Will grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. But her uncle stopped him and grasped her other wrist. She couldn't do much but look from one man to another.

"No!"

"Come on! Can't Shadowhunters have some fun?" Will put on a goofy smile. "You don't want rumours to start about how you discriminate your clientele, do you?"

Her uncle frowned, he looked like was considering Will's words. However, Will wasn't very persuasive because he snatched the girl from Will and tossed her against the wall behind him. She hit her head, cried out at the contact and sank to the ground. That shocked Will but he tried to maintain his façade.

"Is this how you treat your goods? In that case, I don't think I'll ever come here again," he shook his head and gave the man a judgemental look.

Before the man could respond to that comment, he yelped and fell to his knees. She stabbed his thigh with Will's dagger he had in his pocket. She left it there as she stood up and tossed her uncle into his arms.

"Take care of him!" she ordered and ran back to the _East Magic_.

* * *

"What's the ma'er, swee'heart?" one of the men inside the whorehouse yelled after her. "Not in the mood?" the others laughed and she ignored them.

She got to her room and took out Jem's knives. Ayaka dashed with all her speed outside. Will must have had dragged him behind the corner so they wouldn't alert people now standing outside the brothel. She turned right and halted.

He uncle stood there with two of his bodyguards with the Sight. How he managed to call them so quickly she had no idea. They were holding both Will and Jem against them with aimed guns at them in warning.

Her eyes widened when Jem looked at her. He looked surprised as well that he saw her there. Angel knew what Jem thought of her before, but what he thought at this moment must have been way worse. She swallowed and turned to her uncle instead who was sneering at her. She didn't want to face him just yet. Her theory was proven, he was perfectly alright. As if she never stabbed him. She had injured him before, scratched his face and when she looked at him again the marks and blood were gone.

He noticed her putting away the knives in the pocket of her robe. "Gift?"

Ayaka couldn't say a word. She felt embarrassed and stupid.

"You've been sneaking out to meet with Shadowhunter boys. Aren't they," Orochi pointed in the brothel's direction, "enough? If you wanted more, you should have just asked. But no worries, that'll be arranged soon." The bodyguards smirked. She tried to keep her breathing and knees steady.

"Give me those knives!"

She shook her head. Her heart was beating hard in her chest. Ayaka couldn't give her only real weapon to this man.

"I'll tell my men to shoot these two if you don't give them to me."

 _I can promise you won_ _'_ _t miss a target,_ said Jem's reassuring voice in her head. That silver boy gave her another reason to be grateful to him.

Ayaka smiled. That was it! She won't miss! She was always good at throwing knives and shuriken.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Oh, you have no idea," she giggled at his confused face. He really didn't know _how_ good she was.

"I will give you the knives," she said and raised her hands.

A second later they were sticking out of the bodyguards' foreheads. Jem grabbed his cane lying close and hit her uncle's temple with the dragon head before he could comprehend what his niece did. It sent him to the ground unconscious. The bodyguards were also on the ground, dead with blood streaming down their faces from the wound. Will took the knives and his dagger, cleaned the blades in her uncle's coat and looked from Ayaka to Jem.

"We have to go before he wakes up," said Will.

Ayaka's focus wavered and dark spots appeared in her vision. Jem noticed and caught her before she dropped on the cold ground unconscious as well.

* * *

"The blow in the head must have got her," Will told Jem when they were on their way to the Institute. Will was carrying the girl in his arms like a bride in black, he had refused Jem's offer to carry her when he saw his white face.

"What blow?"

Will sighed, "Before you found us, I'd tried to persuade him to come with me for a moment and he refused. He took her away from me and tossed her against the wall and she hit her head. But I guess the adrenaline kept her awake until now. She has a nice throw. Almost as good as yours."

Jem glanced at the knives in his hand. He didn't regret giving them to her. She saved their lives and her life as well. She did it in very risky way but being Will's parabatai prepared him for risk.

He had found it hard to believe his eyes when he turned the corner and found Will wrestling with a man. He had noticed the brothel on his way to Will but didn't pay much attention to it. He didn't like those places and despised men who went there and squandered money on those women who, with high probability, didn't ask for this kind of job.

He had no idea what to think of her. She was an enigma he wanted to solve. Of course, he would not force her to answer all his questions. Surely, she wouldn't tell him everything the moment she wakes up. She needed time.


	4. Chapter 3 - A Safe Place

_My order of ACOWAR is on its way and I can't wait to get my hands on that beautiful book! It's been a nightmare to get a hardback copy but now I'm glad the hunt for it is over._

 _I will be studying for the final examinations but while I can, I write. My keyboard is on fire from so much writing! But I'm not complaining. I enjoy writing this fic and I hope you enjoy reading it :). (I can't wait for you to read chapter 4 because something really interesting happens in that one.)_

* * *

Ayaka woke up from a deep sleep. She hadn't seen such a clean room in years. It looked almost like hospital but hospitals weren't so spotless – at least those she'd been to. She was also dressed in clean white nightgown that covered her from neck to ankles. It was the first time she was this covered since she was placed in that awful place.

She got up slowly and walked a short distance to the window. Her eyes captured a beautiful garden. Small but beautiful. When her eyes followed a line of a tall tree she noticed it wasn't just a garden, it was a greenhouse. Naturally, considering London weather. There weren't any flowers blooming because of the cold weather but she would like to see them bloom one day. If she was allowed to stay.

"I see you're awake now. Good morning."

Ayaka turned to her left and saw a young woman with dark brown hair and brown eyes. She was the same height as her. She wore a dark green dress and her thick hair were knotted up at the back of her head.

"Good morning."

The woman sat down on the bed next to hers and Ayaka took it as a cue to sit down too.

"My name is Charlotte Branwell and I'm the Head of this Institute," she began. Ayaka didn't allow herself to interrupt her for Mrs. Branwell looked quite strict and didn't want to get on her bad side. "We wanted to make sure you had no serious injuries so a Silent Brother already examined you. Jem and Will told me what happened and I want to tell you that even though it surprised me to find out there was a Shadowhunter in such places," she gulped, "I don't blame you. I was told your uncle might be the one to blame. Not just for your treatment but also for threatening lives of my two wards."

Ayaka nodded.

"Why don't you tell me your name first?" she asked her and her face softened.

"Mizushima Ayaka. Ayaka's my given name and Mizushima is the surname. My uncle gave me a nickname – Irene. You can call me whatever you like."

"You can call me Charlotte, Ayaka."

She gave Charlotte a small smile. "So, after I get better, I go back to Shadwell… to the brothel?"

Charlotte was surprised. "Why would you go back?"

"I'm a prostitute. I shouldn't be here."

"You're also a Shadowhunter and we help our people, I'm sure you know that. I can't let you go back unless you yourself wish to return."

Ayaka didn't want to return. She stared at Charlotte in bemusement. "But…"

"No 'but'. Unless you tell me right now that you want to return," said Charlotte firmly.

Ayaka stayed silent. After a whole minute of silence, she opened her mouth and said, "I would be grateful if you let me stay." She looked down at her knees covered in white linen.

"Of course. But now, I need to ask you a few personal questions."

Ayaka nodded again.

"How old are you?"

"I'll be seventeen in February."

Charlotte's eyes almost fell out of her head. It was comical to see her turn from composed to shocked.

"How long have you been in London?" she asked with more curiosity in her voice.

"Nearly two years. I was born in Kyoto and later we moved to Tokyo. My parents died during a demon hunt. Me and my uncle moved to America where we lived for three years, until he met Axel Mortmain. Maybe you've heard of him."

"I don't know much about him," said Charlotte. "But your uncle… he's a mundane."

"Yes. My father Ascended but his brother didn't want to. He's more of a businessman than a demon killer."

"I see."

"What will you tell the Enclave?" Ayaka asked anxiously.

Charlotte sighed. "I'm not sure yet."

"What if my uncle finds me?" Ayaka was even in more unease when she thought of her only living relative.

"He won't," assured her the Head of the Institute and she spoke as one. "The glamour on this place is strong and he won't be able to get in, he's a mundane."

Ayaka breathed in and out to calm herself. She thought of one boy and wondered how was she supposed to explain herself. "Where is Jem?"

Charlotte hesitated with her answer. No doubt she was thinking of what lie to tell.

"I've seen a _yin fen_ addict before, Charlotte."

"Don't judge him," Charlotte's request sounded also a bit like a warning.

"I'm not. I've thought about him-it," she corrected herself. "I don't know how much I can trust my intuition but it tells me he didn't choose it. Just like I didn't choose my… job either."

Charlotte reached out to hold Ayaka's hands that were in her lap, playing with her fingers. "It's not your job anymore."

Ayaka looked down to hide her wet eyes. She had given up on hoping that good people like Charlotte existed and now she found her. She would do anything to keep her presence less burdensome.

* * *

It was almost dinner time when Charlotte came to Infirmary again to tell her she can change and go to her new room. She was given a choice what to wear – either one of Charlotte's dresses or a gear. Ayaka chose the gear. She didn't really like the western clothes.

"May I go and buy some fabrics later?" she asked. "I don't like these western dresses," she glanced at the blue dress on the bed and then gave Charlotte apologetic look.

Charlotte eyed her curiously.

"I want to create more Japanese look for myself… if you won't mind, of course."

"No. I want you to feel comfortable here, clothes included. You may wear gear for now. However, I think it would be better if someone else went to buy what you need," said Charlotte and sighed. "I don't think it's safe for you out there yet. Your uncle is probably looking for you already."

Ayaka tried not to contemplate on it for long and agreed.

Charlotte showed her around the Institute. It had a very warm and homey feeling, which she liked but she also found herself missing the military atmosphere of the Tokyo Institute (if she ignored the big garden). She was explained who else resided in the London Institute and the roles they had.

"And, please, don't try to stare at Sophie's scar. It makes her nervous even when she tries to hide it."

Ayaka didn't quite understand but didn't ask.

They stopped in front of one of the doors in the corridor illuminated by witchlight. They opened and a servant girl came out. That must have been Sophie. Now she understood Charlotte's request. The girl had a scar slashed from the left corner of her mouth to her temple. In Akaya's opinion, Sophie was beautiful despite the scar.

"Sophie, this is Mizushima Ayaka. Ayaka, this is Sophie, our maid."

Sophie gave Ayaka a curtsy. "It's pleasure to meet you, miss Ayaka. I'm glad you're awake now. I had already prepared the room for you."

Ayaka smiled at her. "Thank you. And, please, call me Ayaka."

Sophie bowed her head and glanced at Charlotte. She wanted to talk to Charlotte alone. Ayaka gave them an awkward smile and went to her new room.

It was furnished simply with dark wood furniture. There was a big bed with a bedside table next to it, an armchair in front of a lit fireplace, a simple screen that concealed a door led to the bathroom. Ayaka was reprised when she saw a flush toilet. She wondered for a minute how rich they must be to have such a luxury. She had been used to chamber pots but was glad that she doesn't have to use them anymore. There was also a dressing table in front of the window and a chair. She noticed a hair brush, some simple pins and ribbons.

Ayaka yawned and decided to sleep for a while.

* * *

London was swallowed into darkness already when she was woken up from her nap. Sophie had come to tell her the dinner was ready. Ayaka got up from the comfortable warm bed not very willingly.

Sophie told her to sit by the vanity to brush her hair and tie them up. In the mirror Ayaka noticed Sophie's serious face and how she tried to appear unaffected by the fact that she was in a room with a whore and making her presentable for dinner.

"You don't have to do my hair if you don't want to," said Ayaka. "I can do a braid."

"It's my job, Miss."

Ayaka was happy Sophie took a hint began tying her long black hair into a braid.

"Besides, it's not me you should worry about."

"Why?"

"Mrs. Branwell told you about Miss Lovelace, didn't she?" Sophie answered with a question and a bitter smile.

"She didn't say much about her."

"Well, she thinks herself a _lady_ more than a Shadowhunter," said Sophie shortly, emphasising the word 'lady' to indicate it wasn't a good thing.

Ayaka sighed. That was something she didn't need in her life. A lady with ego bigger than the Imperial Palace.

"Dinner will be interesting."

* * *

Ayaka went down the stairs to the dining room. There were some people in there already, she'd noticed the light through the gap between door and doorframe.

"How can you expect me to sit here and eat by the same table as the _prostitute_ ," Ayaka heard another posh accent, this time it belonged to a girl. Jessamine Lovelace no doubt.

"Jessamine, please," said Charlotte almost desperately, "I explained this already. She's a Shadowhunter and that's all that matters."

"To you," Jessamine snorted. "And to Will, probably," Ayaka tensed. "I bet you were happy you can live with such woman, if she can even be called one, under the same roof and don't have to walk to East End every night."

Ayaka heard steps behind her. She turned around sharply, she didn't want to be caught eavesdropping. She froze on the spot when she saw Jem, descending the stairs cautiously, his eyes on her. He was dressed in a white shirt, a thin brown sweater, black trousers and leather shoes. His face was flushed. She assumed it was thanks to _yin fen_ he must have had taken.

Ayaka averted her gaze quickly. She wasn't sure how to look at him and not think of the fact that he hadn't known who she was and almost lost his life because of it, and that she imagined his face to make herself feel better as other men fucked her. Ayaka didn't want to blush but her own blood failed her when it crept into her cheeks.

"Mizushima," his voice was quiet and her family name soft on his lips.

She continued to stare blankly at the wall separating them from others, she heard Will's voice arguing with Jessamine and Charlotte trying to calm them down.

"Carstairs," he said out of the blue.

She looked at him in confusion.

"My surname. I didn't tell you before and I know your name now," he explained and smiled a little. "So, we're even."

Ayaka gave him a short nod and stayed silent.

Carstairs was not generally known name in Japan but some people knew who they were. Jonah Carstairs ran the Institute in Shanghai. He and his wife died in 1872, a year before her parents were killed. She only heard rumours of what actually happened and certainly didn't want ask Jem about it now.

"What do you want me to call you?" he asked.

"Whatever you wish to call me," her answer was automatic.

To the men who visited _East Magic_ she was either Irene or some other, usually very foul, name they chose.

"No," he shook his head and his expression turned from curious to serious. " _You_ should tell me what to call you. It's your name."

"Ayaka."

The silver haired boy smiled again. He didn't look angry, disappointed or revolted. He was as cool as a cucumber. She wanted to know how he did it.

"Thank you for the knives. I'll give them back to you after dinner."

He raised a hand, "No, please. I gave them to you. You can keep them."

She could hear Orochi's voice from yesterday in her head. _Gift?_ Ayaka didn't allow herself to shudder.

Jem stepped closer to her. "Are you alright?"

"I should ask you that. He almost shot you yesterday," she said. She had thought it would be shame if he was killed even before she could express her gratitude and repay him for the kindness.

He smirked. Why was he smirking? Oh. _Oh!_

 _Stupid girl_ , she thought. _He_ _'_ _s already dying so what if he was shot?_ _Dying people enjoy risks, don_ _'_ _t they? In addition, he is addicted to a drug that will kill him one day anyway. Bullet would only end his misery._ She wondered whether he had a list.

"It wouldn't be the worst thing that ever happened to me."

Jem still had that lopsided smile on his face. It made him look more mischievous. She had to admit to herself it was a nice change from his otherwise composed look.

"Right, sorry."

"Don't apologise. Besides, Will and I would be able to handle those three mundanes. We're quite capable," he added more smugly.

She raised her eyebrows at him, "Really? Then why didn't you do anything?"

"You had the knives. I wanted you to use them."

She wanted to bang her head against a wall.

 _Is he kidding me? I thought I_ _'_ _d get a heart attack and_ _…_ _and he was just_ _…_ _waiting for her to save them? What in the name of Raziel!_

"Are going to chitchat there till you start growing roots?!" yelled Will from the dining room, startling them both.

Ayaka looked from the door back at Jem.

"Will has excellent hearing. Unfortunately," Jem told her and opened the door for her. "If it weren't for him, I would play violin until four in the morning."

"I'm bothering you about it for you own good," said Will when his parabatai and Ayaka walked into the room.

"You play violin?" she asked Jem, both ignoring Will's remark.

His eyes brightened. "Yes." It was clearly something he loved to do in his free time when his whole body glowed with positive energy.

She made a mental note to stay awake and wait for violin music. If she could hear it. Ayaka didn't know where his room was.


	5. Chapter 4 – Late Night Play

_I mentioned Henry & Charlotte moment and I can say, this is not the last time of writing a scene with them. There will be a flashback on Jem's parents too but you'll have to wait for it :)._

 _The chapter itself is nothing special but it builds up future chapters and I always say that even the boring episodes of a TV show or the boring 1st parts of a movie adaptation of a last book in a series are still worth watching. If you won't take anything from this chapter, then at least consider supportive and inventive Ayaka, Jem the Cutie and the smut scene, which may be too soon but Henry & Charlotte deserve all the love so I don't care. Also, next four chapters will be longer (over 3000 words) because I decided to merge two chapters into one. And some murders will happen in order to set the beginning of Clockwork Angel._

 _Thank you all for reading and I would make me really happy if you left a review :)._

* * *

Jem lightly touched her forearm, his eyes telling her to sit down next to him. She also had another option to sit next to Jessamine but Jem felt that it wouldn't end well.

The blonde girl was throwing ugly grimaces at the new girl. She didn't look guilty for speaking harsh words so loudly and without shame even when she knew Ayaka was standing outside.

"Honestly, Charlotte, couldn't you give her something normal to wear?" Jessamine asked, looking disapprovingly at the gear Ayaka was wearing.

Charlotte was spared from answering when Ayaka said, "I will buy something _normal_ soon, don't worry."

Henry, usually distant when it came to such conversations, looked up from his place and gave Ayaka a cheerful smile.

"I wish you girls wore gear all the time. It would be fun and you wouldn't have to worry about the laces."

Will chuckled, Jessamine frowned and Charlotte choked on her tea. Henry quickly turned his attention to her and stroked her back gently. "Are you all right, Lottie?"

"Sounds like a good idea," murmured Ayaka, considering Henry's thought. "Charlotte said you like to invent stuff," she said again, this time she addressed Henry directly.

Henry turned his worried face at her and smiled again, pleased to hear someone interested in his hobby. He started rambling on about his ideas for new things Shadowhunters could use and Ayaka listened. Jem didn't understand what he was saying but Ayaka seemed to be fascinated.

He shared a glance with Will.

 _Is she faking her interest or does she actually care?_ he could see in Will's eyes.

 _It's hard to say._

"I don't understand why you even bother with such ideas," Jessamine sneered at Ayaka. "Lady shouldn't concern herself with–"

"He's creative," Ayaka defended Henry, this time everyone looked at her. Even Agatha's head appeared in the door to the kitchen to see what was happening. "That's not a trait Shadowhunters usually possess. I don't see why we should prevent innovation in our world when even the Queen herself supports it in hers."

"You're American, aren't you? You are always so optimistic and look for crazy new possibilities no one asked for."

"And what is wrong with that?" asked Jem this time, surprising everyone, including Jessamine.

Ayaka looked at Jem. He was defending her? But he didn't even know her. Why would he do that?

"What is wrong with wishing for a better future and doing something to make it better?"

Jessamine wasn't able to say anything to Jem when she noticed his expression missing all the friendliness and the hard edge of his voice.

Charlotte bent down her head, feeling a bit guilty she didn't really consider this aspect of Henry's character. She had mostly thought of herself and how he paid more attention to his crazy inventions than her.

"Jem's right, Jessie," said Charlotte softly. She tried not to take sides and solve everything without a bias but this time Jessamine crossed the line.

"And I'm Japanese, by the way," said Ayaka to the quiet room.

* * *

Charlotte glanced at the clock over the fireplace. Half past ten. She went to bed earlier than usual but she was exhausted. A new Shadowhunter in the Institute, then writing a letter to the Consul to inform the Enclave of the new girl. She didn't like dealing with them more than necessary but she had to fulfil her duties. Duties… like the marital duty. She sighed. Henry was in his laboratory as he was yesterday and the day before, and the day before and so on.

She heard Jem's violin in the distance. His music was so melancholic and sweet. She thought of Jem during the dinner and hoped he wasn't too affected by Jessamine's words. Her thoughts ran to Ayaka. She was smart and spoke her mind. Charlotte bet she would have said more but she held back. She was glad someone stood up for Henry and a second later felt ashamed and guilty for not being a better wife and not supporting her husband more.

The door opened and she quickly closed her eyes to pretend she was sleeping. She'd been doing it since they passed the honeymoon stage. She didn't want Henry to see her waiting for him almost every night.

She heard him slowly taking his clothes off and slightly opened her eyes. Just because she felt frustrated with her lack of support and his lack of affection didn't mean she couldn't peek. He stood with his back to her. His waistcoat was off. As he was taking his shirt off, she watched with adoration rippling movement of his muscles. Her heartbeat quickened and she felt heat forming in her lower abdomen.

Through her half-lidded eyes, she saw he turned around so she closed them completely.

"Lottie," he whispered lovingly. Charlotte loved the nickname and fought back smile.

The bed creaked a bit as he sat down next to her. She felt him staring and wanted to know where exactly his eyes went. Her chest rose and fell faster than it would have if she was calmly sleeping.

"I know you're not sleeping," he said gently, startling Charlotte and her eyes flew open.

He looked apologetically at her. "I tried to come earlier today."

"You did," she murmured. "It's not even midnight."

He took her small hand into his and observed her in silence. He took in her dark waves on white pillow, redness on her cheeks and slender body under covers. The only part of her body, except the arms, he could see was her chest, her breasts hidden under linen clothing.

Charlotte saw the shape of his Adam's apple move as he gulped. He was breathing rapidly too.

"Lottie," he breathed out. "How can you be so beautiful? I don't deserve you."

"That's up to me to decide, Henry. I think it's me who isn't worthy…" she stopped when she felt his warm hand on her cheek, thumb on her lips, stroking gently.

"Don't say that," he said in a harsher voice than she was used to.

Charlotte opened her mouth slightly to keep up with her hard breaths. His hazel eyes darkened with lust.

"Why don't you take the rest of your clothes off?" Charlotte suggested, surprising herself and Henry. She wasn't usually this forward when they were alone.

"In a minute."

He pushed aside the covers, Charlotte shivered when she felt the cold air creeping beneath her nightgown. Her nipples hardened and she hoped her husband would pay some attention to them.

Henry positioned himself above her, he had pulled the fabric of the gown up, just below her wetness, and spread her legs so he could fit himself between them. His gentle touch on her legs gave her goose flesh. She felt him stroking the skin of her thighs.

His name was silenced on her lips with his kiss. He nibbled her lower lip, Charlotte opened her mouth and his tongue slid in. She moaned when his tongue started playing with hers. She snuggled him closer. Charlotte was caressing his back, pleased with the feel of his soft skin. Angel knew how much she missed that.

He left her mouth, she wanted to protest but changed her mind when he began pressing wet kisses all over her neck, sucking on her skin and grazing it with his teeth. He pulled her closer to him, she wrapped her legs around him, her feet stroking his calves.

Charlotte whimpered when he brushed his thumbs over her nipples and started kneading her breasts, not bothering to take off her nightgown. It sent sweet tingle through her nerves. His head went to her chest and took her stiff nipple in his mouth and licked until the fabric was wet enough he could see through it. While he was handling her other breast, and tweaking the nipple between his fingers, he played with the other one with his tongue, took it between his teeth and gently bit.

Charlotte groaned. Henry abruptly stopped and stared at his wife with horrified look on his face.

"Jem's still playing his violin," he whispered.

"He won't hear us. His room is two corridors away," said Charlotte a bit impatiently and started to kiss the skin on his neck. "Besides, when he's playing, he ignores everything else. Even if the Institute was on fire, he wouldn't notice."

Henry laughed quietly but gasped when he felt her hands on his trousers. Unbuttoning them and pulling them down his legs. He helped her take everything off, she took of her nightgown off as well. Henry drank in the view he got. He was whispering gentle words to her.

Charlotte glanced at his erect member with a sense of pride in her. She was pleased to know what she could do to his body. She touched his hard chest, muscles on his stomach and wanted to go further down but he gripped her wrist. She glared back at him.

"I'm sorry, dear, but I feel like I'm about to explode," he said and pushed her down on the mattress. "I can't hold back any longer," his voice was hoarse and Charlotte thought she had never heard anything hotter coming out of his mouth.

He hooked her legs around his waist and slid into her. Charlotte threw her head back, definitely not thinking of anyone who could hear her crying out the name of her husband. Henry picked up his speed and started thrusting faster. Charlotte lifted her hips to meet him each time.

"Touch me, Henry," she pleaded and he obeyed.

He touched her on the spot where their bodies connected and rubbed. She bit his shoulder because she'd begun to get really vocal. He groaned. There was pain at the contact of her teeth with his skin but also pleasure coming from her walls tightening around him.

Henry pressed his face against the pillow next to her head. He let out a deep animalistic sound when he burst inside her. Charlotte shook under him and came too. Henry collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily.

"I love you so much, Lottie," he whispered affectionately.

Charlotte kissed his forehead and told him she loved him too. She'd believed him.

* * *

Two corridors away Ayaka lied on her bed, listening to the music coming out of Jem's room with a smile on her face. When he finished, the sheet under her head was wet with her tears. They were tears of happiness. She was safe in the Institute. Safe from violence and drunk men. She was among her own people again. Not even fights with Jessamine could have destroyed what she felt now. And Jem had played it all.

Ayaka turned to lie on her back. Staring at the cold ceiling high above her, she pondered tomorrow's schedule in her head. She had thought of training and wanted to invest her time into it. She'd been working hard even when she didn't always like that her parents had been pushing her to be the best. There were still things she needed to perfect.

The question was who to train with. She immediately scratched Jessamine's name in her mental list. Ayaka doubted that the blonde girl even trained. Next was Will but he didn't look like he'd want to train with her. She gulped. Jem... Would he want to train with her even if she wasn't Will? Parabatai were supposed to train together and she didn't want either of the boys to think she was stealing one from the other. And there was also Jem's addiction. He would have to bear a double burden.

She sighed and rolled on the bed a couple more times. She tugged the collar of her nightgown that itched her skin. It was long and uncomfortable. She got up and came to her dressing table. She looked through the drawers and found a sewing kit. The scissors there were small but she also found bigger ones, more suitable for cutting fabrics.

She took off the gown quickly and started improving it.

* * *

Jem finished playing another song and put down his violin gently in the leather case with a bow. He'd been playing for hours and his throat was dry. He was amused by his own engrossment in the music, he'd forgotten everything else.

He glanced at the bedside table but the jug was almost empty. Jem grabbed it and walked out of his room. He looked around and saw a witchlicht shining through the bottom of the door. Ayaka was still awake. When he walked down the corridor to her door, he heard the noise of cutting fabric. For a moment, he considered knocking and asking what she was doing but decided against it. Jem continued his way to the kitchen.

* * *

She finished her work and put it on. Ayaka stood in front of the long mirror inside the wardrobe. It was much better. She had shortened the long sleeves to her elbows and the bottom rim of the gown now reached her knees instead of ankles. She had lowered the neckline but not too much. She didn't want to cause scandal.

While she'd been working, she'd argued with herself whether she should ask Jem to train her. Her final decision was that she should be less direct with her intentions.

Ayaka heard someone padding across the corridor. She walked to the door and opened them. Jem almost dropped his jug filled with water. He did splash some of the water on his bare feet.

"Damn it," he mumbled under his breath and Ayaka hid a smile behind her palm.

He looked at her sheepishly.

"Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" she asked him and revealed her amusement.

"I'm not sure. British people do that. Once my father said sorry to a bedside table when he stumbled on it."

She fought back a giggle.

* * *

She did something to her nightgown. It was… shorter and the cleavage was a bit deeper. He noticed her sharp collarbones, the beginning of the line between her breasts and vaguely their shape as well. He could see her ankles and slim shins. Jem's throat was dry again. She noticed him staring and pressed her lips together.

 _Jem, you_ _'_ _re an idiot_ , he thought. _She had enough of men gawking at her. She didn't need another one. It's difficult though. She is very pretty. A bit too thin but I don't think nutrition is what they care about in brothels._

He cleared his throat and for once he didn't meet with a concerned look. She just watched him blankly. He wanted to know what she was thinking about beneath that mask. Probably how awkward he was.

"I heard you play. It was beautiful," she said and almost let out a breath of relief that this is what she'd said.

"Thank you," he replied.

Many people had already told him his music was beautiful but when it came from her, he felt warm feeling in his stomach. It meant something. The compliment and the warmth.

"I will start training tomorrow," she said. He sensed there was something else she wanted to say but wasn't confident enough to do so.

"Do you want to train with me?"

 _Subtle._

She blinked a few times and her mask started to melt. She seemed relieved that he asked so directly.

"If it won't bother you much," she said quickly. "I don't want to burden you. I can always train on my own..."

"Nonsense. It won't bother me," Jem assured her. Now that he was thinking about it, he might like it. He'd never trained with a girl before, other than Charlotte but that was different. "It's pointless to train alone."

She nodded slowly and thanked him. Jem smiled. Ayaka told him goodnight and he stood there in the corridor until the light of the witchlight went off.


	6. Chapter 5 - Thinking of Home

_Thank you, Moonlight and Ashes for your PMs :)._

 _I hope you all will enjoy this chapter._

* * *

Ayaka had been training with Jem for four days now. Two hours after breakfast and in the afternoon from three to five. He'd praised her footwork, balance and knife throwing skills, but thought she needed to work more with longswords. She liked their sessions in the training room. They made her feel a blooming warmth in her chest whenever she was with Jem. She felt whole again and her sensei, as she called him, noticed. He looked happy that she regained her energy and the want to fight.

His parabatai wasn't very thrilled that Jem spent so much time with her. She had noticed his cold glares in the dining room and wherever he could he was always watching. She started to be crept out by it.

He'd finally confronted her in the library where she had been looking for a book to pass the time before lunch.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked her and loomed over her with a livid expression on his face.

"Looking for a book?"

"What book? How to Seduce a Dying Man?"

She had waited for this moment of judgement from any other Shadowhunter besides Jessamine, and here it was.

"It's good to know the first thing that comes to your mind when there's a girl near Jem, is the fact that he's dying. And I'm not seducing him. I needed a training partner."

He leered at her. "Right, and you thought that asking him would be the best option?"

"And who was I supposed to ask?" her voice went higher a few octaves at the anger and the injustice. It was a common knowledge that she needed to get back on track and no one volunteered when she mentioned she'd start training the next morning after Jem asked her. After awkward silence, she had told them Jem would assist her. "You?" she looked at him dismissively. "Why? So you could have your way with me? Don't pretend you don't know I heard you bicker with Jessamine. I'm not…" she stopped. She'd wanted to say 'a whore' but he'd already known what she was thinking.

"But you are."

Ayaka clenched her hand into fists to prevent them attacking his face, and yelled at him, "Not out of my own free will! I didn't ask for it!"

He continued glaring at her with his icy stare.

"I hope you'll stop treating him like he'd snap into half any minute," she said through gritted teeth.

It only fuelled him.

"I'm not treating him like that! You don't know anything about my relationship with Jem and stop sticking your nose into it! I don't want him to be used and tossed away… by a slut," he spat.

The words stung more than she expected. Her look wavered and she clenched her jaw. She felt a lump in her throat and fought back tears. She'd expected people to be mean but when it was truly happening, it hurt her anyway. Especially when it came from Jem's parabatai. What if Jem confided to Will who had no problem to talk to her in this manner? What if Jem thought she was a repulsive girl unworthy of his time but didn't know how to express it? What if he was a good liar who didn't like training with her?

"William."

They heard Jem's cold voice from the doorway. Ayaka looked over Will's shoulder. He was glaring at the back of Will's head. Will turned to glare back.

"Apologise."

If a random stranger were to pass by, they'd say Jem didn't appear to be upset. However, his emotionless face, tense with restraint, the silver orbs shining with disappointment was enough of a proof. He was pale, except for his cheeks that were coloured red. Ayaka guessed it was because of the anger. If she was in Will's position, she'd feared what's to come.

"But, James–"

"We understand, Will," he sounded exasperated. "Ayaka was a prostitute. And? Do you and Jessamine ignore the fact that she's a Shadowhunter on purpose or… or why? She's a Shadowhunter in need and it's our duty to help. She said herself she didn't want to do what she did! She was _forced_!" his voice broke.

There was something in his eyes. Something Will understood. The blue-eyed boy bent down his head and stuffed his hands into pockets of his black trousers.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"Maybe for now," she said, trying to make herself sound clear as possible. "Ahoyarou*," she added with disgust in her voice.

Ayaka turned around and walked past the shelves to the furthest place in the big library. She grabbed a random book from one bookcase, sat down on a windowsill with a view of the garden and brought her knees up to her chest. She'd hugged the book to get some artificial comfort as she had always done whenever the sadness consumed her. Ayaka stroke the blue cotton of her komon** she'd made for herself when Sophie came with everything she needed yesterday.

She heard someone slammed the door and then steps coming her way. She turned her head to the window, not wanting Jem to see the tears in her eyes. She quickly wiped the salty water off and continued staring at the grass slowly being covered by snow. Ayaka saw Thomas doing something with his back turned to her. He'd been nice to her. She heard he was also from East End, there was unspoken sympathy between them.

Jem sat down in front of her on the sill. He didn't say anything for a couple of minutes.

"When Will first met me, he joked about my looks and didn't want to train with me. He didn't believe I was dying."

She sat and listened, still looking out of the window. Ayaka didn't trust herself not to start crying the moment she'd look at him. Humiliation settled in her chest when the thought of Will's words ran through her mind again.

"But I proved him I can keep up and I hit the centre of the target with a knife. A year later he wanted me to become his parabatai. I took his bet and lost. When we've both turned fourteen, we became parabatai. Since then he's been very protective of me. Unnecessarily. I can take care of myself."

"I don't want to seduce you," Ayaka blurred.

He blinked a few times and smiled. The girl in front of him blushed.

"Oh, that came out wrong. No. That's not what I meant. I…" she took a deep breath and continued, "I'm not saying you're not handsome but just because I used to… do what I did, it doesn't mean I want to use you for _that_ and then break your heart," she glanced at his face and saw how red he was. Ayaka hid her face in her palms and muttered unhappily, "Watashi wa orokadesu."***

She heard him chuckle. She peeked through her fingers and saw him run his fingers through his silver hair. He was smiling. Amused expression, messy hair, curling at the nape of his neck, the black waistcoat which defined his masculine features of his body… At that moment, he definitely looked worthy of seduction. She gulped.

Jem cleared his throat and gently took her hands from her face. She slowly looked up at him. He gave her a shy smile and laid her hands on her knees.

"I know," Jem assured her. "It's Will who thinks that way. I told you he's protective."

She huffed. "Well, he should stop acting like you're a child."

"I already let him know. And he won't call you… what he did," Jem looked out of the window. "I know what it's like to be forced into something and I'm sure it's not in your nature to walk around seducing everything that moves."

" _Yin fen_?" she asked after a quiet moment after she'd thrown a glance at his hair.

"Yes. Yanluo broke into the Shanghai Institute–" he stopped when he saw her face. She stared at him wide eyed and gasped, holding her hand in front of her opened mouth.

"Your father was Jonah Carstairs?"

Jem nodded, looking surprised. Her question was random and unexpected. He had to say to himself it was better than most reactions he saw on people's faces when they found out he was poisoned.

"I only heard rumours when I was still in Japan but didn't believe them. I thought it was too horrible to be true."

He looked at his hands absently. It hurt to think about his parents' screams. Their voices were still in his head when he had seizures or hallucinations.

 _James!_

 _Jian!_

He stared blankly until he noticed Ayaka's hand over his. Her fingers weren't long but they were thin and graceful. Before he started contemplating deeper about them, he moved his gaze up to her face. She was sorry for what happened to him but didn't say anything and he was glad she didn't. He wasn't in need of a pity. Her eyes told him that it'd be all right.

Someone cleared their throat and Ayaka spun to see who it was, letting go of Jem's hand. Charlotte was standing there with serious expression plastered on her face.

"Inquisitor Whitelaw came to see you and ask you few questions, Ayaka," the Head addressed her.

Both Jem and Ayaka looked puzzled but Ayaka nodded, got off the windowsill and put the book away. She straightened the fabric of the komon.

"Do I look presentable?"

"Yes, you do," Jem replied with a gentle smile.

Ayaka glanced at him gratefully and reluctantly followed Charlotte out of the library to the drawing room.

When she walked in, her eyes fell on the figure sitting in one of the pastel coloured armchairs. He stood up to greet her. Inquisitor Whitelaw was older man with greying hair and stern face. His slowly appearing wrinkles didn't add to his looks. He was quite intimidating.

"I'm sorry I came at such inconvenient time – before lunch. I promise I won't take much of your time." His voice was business-like and when he looked at her, she felt shrinking in size.

"It's not inconvenient, Inquisitor. We would be pleased if you stayed for lunch," said Charlotte politely.

After exchanging pleasantries, they were sitting and sipping from tea Sophie had brought.

"So, I was told you were found in Shadwell," the Inquisitor regarded her with interest.

"Yes," she nodded, stroking and tapping the tea cup handle in nervous manner. She wasn't sure if she should tell him about meeting Jem in Fleet Street first.

"And you met young Carstairs three days before." He knew already then.

"Yes, he helped me. I owe him my life," she said with all her confidence.

"Well..." he tilted his head and raised eyebrows at her. Ayaka saw in her peripheral vision that Charlotte's body tensed on the small couch.

"Whatever you're about to say, don't. Please."

Ayaka didn't feel like listening to the talk of Jem's health and that her debt might be paid soon. It made her sick to see that some Shadowhunters judged Jem based on his addiction that he didn't choose. She understood his sympathy even better.

"Fine," he nodded firmly. "I will have to contact Tokyo Institute about your situation. They left you with a man who committed a huge crime against you, as a Nephilim," he stared hard into her eyes and she didn't dare to look away. "He will not go unpunished for what he did. As well as whoever in Tokyo Enclave allowed you to go with him to America."

Ayaka didn't have much choice but to agree. One thought prickled at the back of her mind. What if she was ordered to leave as soon as possible? What if the reply from Tokyo stated that she has to return immediately? She missed home and she weren't in the London Institute for long but… she didn't want to go back yet.

* * *

Jem was on fire. Every inch of him was ablaze with fever of _yin fen_ rushing through his veins. Sweat was running down his temple, his hands were gripping the sheets tightly. Not that he would know what was happening outside his mind.

"Jian, raise your elbow a bit higher."

He listened to his mother's voice and did as she told him. He aimed the arrow and let go. It didn't hit the centre but it was close. Better than five minutes ago when he missed the target by a couple of inches.

Ke Wen Yu was the best at shooting and tried to teach her son. She encouraged him to try everything he could think of and perfected his poor attempts. His skill grew by her side. He admired her. She managed to slaughter the off-springs of the Greater Demon Yanluo. She had been telling him stories of other Chinese women in mundane history. Some were legends, some were real – according the mundanes. She'd told him that they were all real. Because all stories are true. She'd taught him more than just how to slay demons, but also how to respect humans as well as fellow Shadowhunters. Male or female. It didn't matter.

That didn't mean his father wasn't brilliant at what he was doing, on the contrary, he wasn't the Head of the Shanghai Institute for nothing. His father was a great fighter with longswords and he was teaching Jem everything he knew. Jem had been learning how to play his violin too. Jonah was patient with Jem's beginner's mistakes and told him that violin is a way to a girl's heart. Then he proceeded on telling him how he played for Wen Yu and how she fell in love with him – madly, to which Jem's mother threw ironic comments at her husband and smacked his arm. They both laughed, love was shining in their eyes. At that moment, Jem thought he wants to meet someone and be like his parents. Madly in love and full of joy and life.

Out of nowhere he felt a soft hand on his forehead. His mother measured his temperature and sighed. He heard splashing of water and Wen Yu laid a cold cloth over his forehead.

"Jem," the voice was soft, with different accent and higher pitched than her mother's but all he knew at that moment was his mom.

"Māmā, nǐ zhēn de zài ma?"

The woman let out a breath that brushed his face. She stroked the fringe off his forehead and adjusted the cloth. It had to be his mother. Jem was the nickname she had given him. His father didn't like it at first but it quickly grew on him and started calling him Jem all the time. Well, except for rare occasions when he caused mischief with his friends at the Institute.

"Zhè shì nǐ," he whispered.

Jem heard a quiet spurt of Japanese words. The systematic combinations of vowels and consonants, some vowels short, some long. So different from the melodious Mandarin, but still beautiful in its way.

No! His mother was right here. She never left. Where would she go? No. She held his hand and shoulder, trying to wake him up but his eyelids were heavy.

"Bù, wǒ zhīdào shì nǐ."

"I'm not your mother, Jem," the voice was clearer this time.

Jem's eyelids lifted a bit, just enough to see a figure sitting on the bed next to him. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Māmā."

His voice was raspy and felt his throat painfully dry. Jem coughed.

"Jem, are you awake now?"

He opened his eyes fully and focused on the woman… girl sitting there. It wasn't his mother. Ayaka was looking down at him with worried expression. He inwardly sighed and wanted to disappear under the blankets. Jem didn't want her to see him lying in his bed with fever hallucinating.

She suddenly held up her hand. "How many fingers?" she asked.

He chuckled weakly, taken aback by her actions, and said, "Three."

She looked relieved and poured him water from the jug on the nightstand. He sat up, his back straight against the wooden headboard. The cloth fell off his forehead so he soaked it back into the white porcelain basin. Jem readjusted his shirt that had been stuck to his skin with sweat. No blood, that was good. He sensed her staring but when he looked up, her eyes were fixed on his. Ayaka smiled and handed him the glass with water. He gladly accepted it and drank his fill.

"Better?"

Jem nodded as she put the empty glass away.

"What did the Inquisitor want?" he asked her to avoid awkward silence.

"He wanted to know about my past in more detail. Also, he said that he would contact Tokyo Institute. Then he had lunch with us. Interesting man… very straightforward."

Jem felt his stomach drop. Glancing down at his lap, he flattened the fabric of the blanket and reminded himself he had to collect himself. She wasn't leaving yet.

"You must miss home," he murmured.

"You too," she noted.

After his dreams and illusions of his mother she'd witnessed, she probably thought he was completely delusional.

"I'm sorry you had to see me in such state."

"Don't apologise. It's not your fault. _Yin fen_ should be the one apologising," she glared at his mother's silver box with Kwan Yin depicted on the lid. "It's hard be angry looking at it. She's beautiful," she said softly after a moment of silence.

Jem smiled at her remark.

"That's Kwan Yin, goddess of mercy and compassion."

He watched her as she took the box into her hands observing the illustration. A smile formed on her face. It was sentimental.

"Why are you smiling?"

She put it down on the bedside table carefully. She looked at him, still with that sad smile.

"You have so many things you brought from China," she glanced around the room. "The box, the cane, some things you've probably hid somewhere… and the jade pendant," she gestured at the green fist laying on his chest.

"That's from Will, he bought it because he thought it might remind me of home. I also have a different jade pendant, but I put it away. It's very precious."

Ayaka nodded.

"You have nothing from Japan?" he asked her curiously.

She shook her head.

"Does the komon I made count?"

He didn't say anything. He just watched her trying to appear happier than she was.

"I bet it's not even tied properly. I never paid much attention when my mother explained kimono to me."

She observed her work, tugging on the fabric on her waist, adjusting it. Jem took her hand into his and squeezed reassuringly. Ayaka adverted his bright eyes.

"It looks beautiful. And if it makes you feel closer to home, it's worth wearing. Besides, you might go home soon," he tried to sound hopeful.

That's when she looked at him wide eyed.

"Oh, no! I'm not leaving. It's true that I miss home but I need to figure some things out first. I… I need to find out what is wrong with my uncle."

Jem frowned. He didn't understand what is there to 'figure out'. Mr. Mizushima was clearly not right in his mind but was that enough of a reason to stay in London?

"There's something going on. With him and Mortmain. It's like they're planning something but I don't know anything. It's all intuition and observation. They're both very secretive."

"Mortmain? I've heard of him. He was the head of trading business in Shanghai." The crease between his eyebrows deepened when he remembered vaguely few of his parents' conversations over breakfast.

"Yes. At one point, he travelled to California where he met my uncle and they agreed on some business deal… Since then Orochi has been acting weird. More than usual anyway," she shrugged.

At first Jem was relieved she had no intention of leaving now, but then she mentioned her uncle and it made his blood boil. That man was vile, repulsive and he didn't even have to meet him to know that.

"Perhaps something _did_ happen. We'll figure it out, don't worry," he said firmly.

"Yes."

"Where's Will by the way?" he asked her to change to subject.

"I don't know, he stormed off somewhere after the lunch," she answered dismissively.

Jem glimpsed at the window, it was dark outside and snowing. He wondered why was Will in such a bad mood. Why had he lashed out at Ayaka? Has she offended him in any way? She had told him not to treat Jem like 'he'd snap into half any minute'. Was that the reason?

A deep sense of appreciation started to grow in him. During the training sessions, he noticed she'd respected what he said, every critique and praise. She treated him as if he wasn't dying. She didn't cast cautious glances at him whenever his breathing became quicker or whenever he felt that feverish rush of blood in his face. On their first training, she had told him if he felt tired of ill, he had to tell her. That was it. Will had been trying not to look like he cared about his condition but Jem noticed his watchful eye. Ayaka was more direct than he was used to see in other people. He found it refreshing. She had noticed his skills and passion in fighting more than his sickness and that made him feel more alive than ever. Something stronger than _yin fen_ was burning inside of him.

"Don't take Will's words to your heart. Something is haunting him and he has reasons for not telling me… or anyone else. He has done worse things than call people names, according to Charlotte, anyway. He'd come to the Institute before me and she looked like she didn't want to tell me all of it."

Ayaka shrugged. "I suppose. Maybe I should give him time. We need to get used to one another. But that's only the optimistic side of me speaking now." She sighed. "Look at me complaining about him. And here you are, his parabatai who had to listen to his mean words for years."

* * *

 _*bastard_

 _**If you don't know what komon is, search Wikipedia for Kimono and you'll find a section on among other types of kimono. It's basically non-formal kimono women wear/wore as an everyday wear. There's also yukata but I read that it's worn in the summer and it's not summer in the story._

 _***I'm stupid_

 _Māmā, nǐ zhēn de zài ma? - Mom, are you really here?_

 _Zhè shì nǐ. - it is you._

 _Bù, wǒ zhīdào shì nǐ. - No, I know it's you._

 _Translations may not be accurate, I used a dictionary and google translate. I'm sorry if they're not completely correct._


	7. Chapter 6 - Burdens We Carry

_I've made progess with 13th chapter and I'm very happy with it. But you'll have to wait for drama. That comes in next chapter. This one is the one that reminds you that having periods in stories is important representation and it should be featured in books more often. And it also has some Will POV. ;)_

 _Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy it._

* * *

Will turned his coat collar up to protect himself a bit from the snow. He'd been out for several hours and he felt like he had enough strolling around streets.

He passed the Piccadilly Circus and decided to walk alongside the river bank. Will sauntered the entire city and remembered every corner of every street. The river bank was his favourite place, it was quiet, except for the sound of Thames' soft waves.

He felt almost like a character from Frankenstein. Tall and dark with demons that threatened to kill everyone he loved. And the weather just added the atmosphere. Cold, but instead of thunderstorm he got snow. And no wind.

Will spun left and went in the direction of Whitechapel. There was still enough _yin fen_ in Jem's box, but he didn't want to return to the Institute yet. Buying the drug postponed him from returning.

He wasn't worried about Jem. Will had no doubts his parabatai was now in a company of another person. A girl. And a whore at that. He laughed quietly. If someone told him three weeks ago Jem would seek company of a prostitute, he would have laughed at them. Jem was shy, he didn't like East End, but felt pity towards poor children. When it came to women, he simply adverted his gaze. Once one of the women tried to drag him away, telling him how cute he was and that she'd show him things. Will saved him from that fate, but he couldn't supress his smirk looking at Jem's face. He was redder than his formal waistcoat for celebrations like Christmas.

True, Ayaka was a Shadowhunter and Jem appeared to have taken pity on her. He had watched them train from a beam secretly. She was good. But it was evident she hadn't practiced in years. Honestly, he didn't wasn't to call her a slut. He was jealous and frustrated. And he didn't want Jem to be hurt by her. Jem deserved better.

Will halted when he rounded a corner and hid himself immediately. He'd seen that man who almost killed them because of her. Mr. Mizushima, his new lackeys and another man in expensive clothes that made him stand out in the environment. They were in front of the Ifrit den.

Damn it!

"–goes well, Mr. Mortmain," Mizushima laughed and shook Mortmain's hand.

 _So, this is Mortmain_ , Will thought. _He looks less impressive than I imagined._

"Yes, I hope," said Mortmain. "So far everything works but some things need more attention. Which reminds me," he pulled out his pocket watch, "I need to go. And I'm sure you have things to attend to as well."

Mizushima let out a deep breath and folded his arms across his chest.

"Unfortunately. If that little bitch," Will almost chocked on his saliva, "didn't run away with Nephilim, things would have gone easier."

Mortmain gripped his shoulder in what Will guessed was support.

"She will be returned to you. Don't worry about that," Mortmain sneered in conspiring manner. Mizushima knew what he meant and nodded.

They all walked over to their carriages and drove away. Will waited in the alley for at least ten minutes to make sure no one stayed behind. Then he went and knocked on the den's door.

The woman always answered the knocking. She looked almost the same as the last time he saw her. Black hair, kohl rimmed eyes and mouth painted red. She wore black dress this time, her corset was pushing her bosom up more than was necessary. He noticed her forked black and white tail swinging behind her.

"Tiffany!" he greeted her with a grin and let himself in.

She stopped him once he'd closed the door. Tiffany ran her finger over his chest.

"Some mundanes 've been asking for ya," she said.

"Of course they were," he continued beaming at her, hiding his terror. Mizushima and Mortmain weren't just interested in Ayaka anymore. "Look at me. Who wouldn't be asking for this?" he pointed at his face and wiggled his eyebrows seductively.

Tiffany snorted.

"The usual?" she asked from behind her lashes.

"Yea," he nodded and followed her.

"Shame you didn't bring your friend," she whispered and placed a hand on his chest to stop him when they walked into a large room with dark red walls.

Will shrugged, seemingly unaffected by her words, but inside he wished he could snap her neck.

"Why would they be looking for a Nephilim?"

Tiffany had a parcel full of Jem's drug but didn't give it to him. Will pulled out a sufficient amount of money and gave them to her. She handed him the parcel after counting the money.

"They didn't say?" he tried to hide his surprise and instead made himself sound more curious.

"No," Tiffany shook her head.

"Hmm…"

Will shrugged and left to avoid other questions and comments from the warlock woman.

* * *

Will brushed snow off his coat when he stepped inside the Institute. He walked straight to Jem's room.

His silver-haired parabatai was in his bed awake. He was pale but flushed in cheeks.

Will stopped himself at the doorway.

"You're reading?"

Jem looked up from the papers he'd been holding and smiled. "Music." He stretched out his arm to show him trembling fingers. "I can't play with these so I'm just reading what I would play."

Will nodded and stepped in, closed the door behind him and sat down on a chair by the window. He ran his fingers through his wet hair and sighed.

"I have enough of _yin fen_ , William."

"I know but it doesn't harm to buy some more… just in case," he placed the parcel on the desk.

"Anything interesting happened tonight?" asked Jem as he put down the music sheets.

He didn't ask Will about his whereabouts but Will would have told him anyway what he'd seen and heard.

"Actually, yes," Will cleared his throat and crossed his legs. "My tale begins when my beautiful blue eyes beheld two dark figures in a–" he stopped when he noticed Jem's can-you-please-stop look. "Fine. I saw Mizushima and Mortmain talking about things working out," he said in a more sober manner. "Like they're preparing something. _And_ they mentioned that girl," Will jerked his head in the general direction of her bedroom. Jem frowned but Will continued quickly before he was interrupted. "The woman in the ifrit den said they'd been asking for me."

"Ayaka, which is her name by the way," Will rolled his eyes, "mentioned something similar. She felt like they were planning something."

The dark-haired boy stayed quiet. Jem was stabbing him with his eyes.

"Why would you call her that?" he asked.

"I don't know, it just slipped," Will bowed his head so he wouldn't have to look at his only friend.

Jem sighed. "Just don't be so mean to her next time. We all have our burdens here and it's not fair if you can't control yours."

* * *

Ayaka woke up with a dull pain in her lower abdomen and coppery tang around her. She groaned and clutched her stomach. Now that she started eating healthier, her period returned. In full force.

She sat up and glanced at the white sheets. They were soaked with blood at the spot where her bottom was.

Ayaka smacked her face with a pillow.

"Kuso*! This is so embarrassing," she murmured into the pillow.

She wondered when would Sophie come knocking. Ayaka decided to pull the string near her bed and hoped she was where she could hear the bell. In the meantime, she'd been hugging her belly, rocking back and forth, and hoping for the pain to go away soon.

Minutes passed, she had heard other residents waking up much to her dismay. She didn't want them to know what was wrong.

Sophie arrived and quickly closed the door. She was breathing fast and that made Ayaka feel even worse. She'd rushed the poor girl.

"I'm sorry, Sophie. You look busy but I just…"

Sophie eyed Ayaka carefully. She was pale and sweaty. She held her stomach and glanced at Sophie with guilty expression. She had to smile at that. Jessamine never looked guilty when her monthly cycle hit her. Disgusted would have been better word for summarising Jessamine's opinion of the whole thing. She'd been twice as unbearable as usual, but Sophie had got used to it.

"Miss, it's completely all right," she assured her. "I'll take the sheets and go for some water."

Ayaka reluctantly got up and stood awkwardly while Sophie took the dirty sheet off the bed. Then Sophie gave her another nightgown and Ayaka changed behind the screen so that she wouldn't have to stand naked in her room. Sophie left with the huddled white mess but didn't forget to give Ayaka a reassuring smile.

Ayaka bathed herself and dressed in a nightgown. Sophie helped her into a belt with strings that held a clean pad in place. Ayaka just stared what she was doing and couldn't believe such thing existed. She even asked questions that made Sophie blush so she decided to drop the subject. Instead she asked her to tell Jem they can't train today. When Ayaka was back in bed, Sophie went to tell Agatha to cook something to soothe the cramps.

When she finished eating hummus with bread, Sophie took the tray back to the kitchen.

* * *

Jem finished his breakfast as the last one. Charlotte had gone to the kitchen. He heard them talking.

"As fine as she can be," replied Sophie. "She ate everything and I'll bring her water. She needs to drink a lot."

They were probably talking about Ayaka. He'd been surprised she cancelled today's training, it was strange because she enjoyed practicing with him. Sophie hadn't wanted to tell him what was wrong with her, just that she had a stomachache.

Weird. A stomachache. Did Shadowhunters get those? He didn't remember one time he had a mundane sickness. Not even as a child.

He went to his room and waited until he heard Ayaka's surprisingly weak voice saying, "That's all, thank you, Sophie. I don't want to bother you with more stuff."

He heard Sophie's footsteps down the hall and eventually silence. Jem opened the door and looked in both directions. Will was in a library, rummaging through some mundane newspapers to investigate on Mizushima and Mortmain. Jem had promised he would join him.

He glanced from her door to the end of the corridor leading to the library. He decided he should let Ayaka rest.

* * *

"Have you found anything?" Jem asked Will when he found him sitting by the big table in the centre of the library.

"Nothing new. Newspapers make people believe he's the perfect gentleman," Will scoffed.

Jem sat down next to him and skimmed through articles as well. Will was right, there was nothing he didn't know already. The only interesting thing was that there was no mention of a niece. It made sense since she was a Shadowhunter and her identity was supposed to be a secret but there was nothing about his family. Only that he was rich Japanese businessman that travelled to California, then to England after joining Mortmain and Co. Jem found in one short article that Mr. Mizushima wanted to "bring the rich taste of green tea to the western world." He couldn't help supressing a snort. Will glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. Jem told him.

"I'm sure tea is what he has in mind."

After half an hour of reading useless newspapers, Jem decided to give himself a break and try to find some information about stomachaches.

Will's eyes followed him as he started looking at the spines of books.

"What are you looking for?" he asked him.

"Ayaka has a stomachache and I think it's strange."

"Why?" Will tried not to roll his eyes over his parabatai's foolery. "I had a stomachache once when I ate a spoilt egg."

Jem spun from a bookcase to look at Will with incredulous expression. "Why would you do that?"

"It was a bet," Will shrugged.

Jem sighed. "I doubt she ate something she shouldn't, unlike you. Besides, you said you only had a stomachache _once_. I never even had one in my life. Which means, it's something Shadowhunters don't get, which makes me believe there's something fishy about it."

"You think she might have eaten a fish? From Thames perhaps? That would definitely make her sick. Of course, in the case there were any fish in Thames."

Jem banged his head into a shelf.

"Just tell me where can I find any medical books of some sort and I'll leave you alone."

Will rose from his chair and smiled cheerfully. "Oh, you don't have to leave me alone. I'll help you with it," he walked past the bookcase and Jem followed him. "Still better than reading about mundane business."

* * *

Henry had been making Ayaka a gift. He'd used one of the old fans from Charlotte that she didn't even touch. It was deep red with flowers painted on it. He had inserted it with blades so whenever she needed a weapon she would just spread out the fan and press a small button. Jem's cane had been very fascinating to him and he remembered the first time he studied the mechanics of it. Then he'd thought of Jessamine's parasol and wanted to make something for Ayaka too. Charlotte might have mentioned when was her birthday but he forgot.

The wooden door of his crypt opened with a creak and he turned around. The moment Henry saw his wife, he smiled and she smiled back. She was so beautiful and since that night he was assured she loved him, he reminded her of that at least once a day.

"Lunch is ready," she announced and stood expectedly at the door.

Henry put down the fan and walked over to his wife. He bent down and kissed her tenderly. She smiled into the kiss and touched his cheeks.

"Henry, the lunch," she managed to remind him between the kisses.

Her husband groaned but let her go reluctantly. Charlotte stood up on her tip toes to glance behind his shoulder.

"What are you inventing this time?" she asked.

"I'm making a present for Ayaka… for birthday. When is her birthday?"

Charlotte chuckled and answered, "In February but she didn't say the exact date. I'd have to ask her."

"And what is today's date?"

"The first of December," she told him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Henry held her by the waist and kissed her forehead. "My sweet Lottie," he murmured against her skin.

"I have to go and find Will and Jem. Angel knows what they're doing. I had told them to look through newspapers and find something about Ayaka's uncle but I'm sure they gave up on that already."

* * *

"So… every woman has to bleed? Every month?" asked Will with mouth wide open.

"Look," Jem pointed at one passage in another book they had found, "here it says that it's because Eve sinned and now every woman has to pay for it. That's so cruel, don't you think?"

"It's a religious article, Jem. It doesn't have to mean it's true," Will glanced at the book sceptically.

"Nevertheless, it must hurt a lot when she cancelled our training. But I never noticed such things with Charlotte or Jessamine."

"Jessamine has been weird since the day she was born, and Charlotte…"

"I suppose it's different for every woman," Jem concluded quickly.

"Well, it's only for five or so days… and maybe she'll be better tomorrow," Will tried to cheer Jem up when he noticed his glum face.

Someone cleared their throat behind them. Will and Jem jerked and shut the books. When they turned in their seats, they saw Charlotte with arms crossed, looking down at them with blank expression.

"What are you doing?"

"Uh…"

"Studying," replied Will.

Jem looked at him from the corner of his eye. Will was unaffected by Charlotte's presence, which to Jem appeared to be more intense than ever.

"Jem was worried about Ayaka and wanted to know why since no one told him anything."

"It's not like I asked," Jem hissed at the dark-haired boy and felt a heat rising in his face.

"It's time for lunch," that was all Charlotte said.

The boys got up and Will turned to Charlotte with a smirk.

"I have a few questions though."

He never managed to say anything more because Jem dragged him out of the library quickly. Charlotte shook her head and went to the kitchen to ask Sophie to bring the meal to Ayaka.

* * *

Jem knocked on her door tentatively after everyone finished their lunch and went their own ways. Will had told Jem to meet in the training room in an hour. He had enough time to check on Ayaka. No one answered the knocking so he invited himself in despite his better judgement.

Ayaka was buried in blankets and pillows, he saw empty plate on a tray on the bedside table. Jem closed the door, fully aware how improper he was, but he couldn't stop his curiosity.

He went over to her bed and saw her sleeping face. She was pale but red in cheeks and sweat had formed on her forehead. The only thing he could see except for the head was her hand, clutching the blanket close to her body.

She must have sensed him looking, her eyelashes fluttered and whimpered.

"Jem?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I barged in like that but I wanted to make sure you were all right."

She pushed the blanket off her body, revealing her upper parts. Jem tried not to stare too much and focused on her face.

"Can you please open the window?" she asked, blinking to adjust her vision.

Jem did as she said. Ayaka sighed in relief at the cool air brushing her skin.

"Sometimes I feel hot, then cold again," she explained.

Ayaka shifted in the bed, further from the window and patted the space she'd made. Jem sat down, bed sinking a bit under his weight. She got goose flesh all over her arms from the cold early December wind that was blowing into the room. He reached for the blanket and covered her up to her shoulders. She rewarded him with a smile.

"Are you feeling better?" Jem wanted to know.

"A bit."

"Do you want me to bring you something?"

She looked at the grey sky she saw from the window and bit her lip as she was thinking. Then she glanced at the bedside table.

"Tea. If I drink more of that bland water, I might as well burst. I've been in the bathroom at least six times already. And chocolate."

Jem raised eyebrows at the last requirement and smiled afterwards.

"In the case there is chocolate," she whispered sheepishly and looked down at the white sheet.

"Let's hope Will left you some," teased Jem as he rose from the bed and picked up the tray.

"If he didn't, tell him 'hi' from me. And by 'hi' I mean a punch in the face," she grunted.

Jem laughed at her sudden change in mood and left. She seemed to be as passionate about chocolate as Will. That wasn't good.

* * *

*kuso – fuck/shit


	8. Chapter 7 - Familiar Faces

_A little bit of Heronstairs, competetive Jem and people from the past. Enjoy! :)_

* * *

"Can I ask you something?" asked Jem after he quickly returned with what she had asked for and sat down on the bed next to her.

Ayaka sat sideways on bed and was nibbling a bar of chocolate. She had brushed her long hair over one shoulder and washed her face while he'd been away. Jem was happy to see her looking less exhausted. The window was closed and she had drawn the blanket over her chest.

"Yes, you can ask me anything," she told him with a soft look.

"I know why you have stomachache," he began and when saw realisation in her face, they both blushed. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Ayaka gave him a small smile and stroked her stomach through the blanket. Jem had watched her. Eventually she shook her head.

"You've already helped. Arigatōgozaimasu*," she bowed her head slightly.

Jem smiled, he had to admit he liked it when she spoke Japanese. Ayaka used her mother tongue more frequently than he did and it made him want to use his. He found it adorable when she started mumbling in Japanese whenever he pointed out a mistake she had made during training. He always thought she'd been cursing him.

"Bié kèqì,**" he replied with a smile.

"You should speak Mandarin more, it suits you. I won't understand much but it'll be worth hearing. You have posh accent even when you speak Mandarin."

"Posh?"

"Yes. Like some scholar… or minister's son."

Jem threw back his head and laughed heartily. She did say the strangest things sometimes.

"No one has ever told me that," he was flattered anyway.

He considered telling her about what Will told him yesterday, however he didn't want her to make her feel worse.

"Is there something you want to tell me? You look like you're thinking very hard about something."

Jem stopped staring at the carpet and turned to her.

"I don't want to burden you with anything. You should rest."

She raised one eyebrow and looked at him with expectation in her eyes. Why did she have to be so stubborn?

"All right. Will saw your uncle and Mortmain yesterday. According to him, they were talking about 'things working out' and were looking for you. They were also asking for Will in the ifrit den where…," he paused and shifted on the bed uncomfortably, "where he buys me the drug."

Ayaka nodded, she didn't look surprised, but she was sad. Jem regretted that he told her anything.

"When Will came to talk to me that night, Orochi recognised him even though he didn't know his name. Apparently, Will is famous. The Shadowhunter who lurks around East End," she added bitterly.

They heard a small clock chime on the mantel, he glanced behind his shoulder and saw his one hour passed. Will was probably already waiting for him in the training room.

"I have to go."

Ayaka looked up at him as he rose from the bed. Jem smiled at her softly, a knowing look on his face.

"I know. It'll be very boring without me," he joked and she snorted but he noticed her amused glint in her eyes

"Go. You can't neglect your parabatai duties."

Jem chuckled and left with final glance her way before he closed the door.

* * *

Sophie woke Ayaka earlier than usual. Ayaka was looking out of the window into the garden, she could see that it wasn't snowing anymore. She felt much better after her five-day period, she had thanked Sophie for everything. But when she saw what dress Sophie brought her today, she wouldn't thank her.

"What is that?" Ayaka asked the maid.

"We're going shopping today, miss. Christmas ball is almost two weeks away and you need a proper ballgown," Sophie replied when she finished preparing the bath.

Sophie came over to Ayaka and started undressing her as Ayaka couldn't move a muscle.

Ballgown. Christmas ball. What?

"Charlotte lent you one of her dresses. It'll be easier for the saleswomen and dressmakers to assist you with it than with…" Sophie glanced at Ayaka hesitantly.

"Komon."

* * *

"Charlotte, I need to buy new strings for my violin. Can I go out today or do you need my assistance with something?" asked Jem politely while he buttered his toast.

Charlotte looked happy Jem mentioned going out. "You may go. Ayaka and Sophie are going to buy dresses for the Christmas party today as well and I'd feel better if someone went with them. You can escort them."

Will sniggered and Jem wanted to smack him with something hard. His hand itched for the jar of jam but he stopped himself when he saw Jessamine, Ayaka and Sophie step through the dining room door.

"Well, at least you look human today," said Jessamine to Ayaka who glared daggers into the blonde-girl's back.

"Excuse me? Did I look like a Raum to you before?"

Will started laughing under his breath, Jem couldn't help but smile when he imagined Raum demon in kimono walking around the Institute.

Jessamine rolled her eyes and sat down elegantly next to Henry, who had been scraping eggs.

Ayaka was forced to sit next to her because Sophie held her arm and guided her to the chair. He tried not to gape at Ayaka. She wore Charlotte's dress, forest green with long sleeves rimmed with white lace. Her hair was pinned up into a knot same as Charlotte's.

When she sat down, she looked at him nervously. Jem was very handsome. He was dressed as if he was planning to go out. She liked the navy-blue waistcoat he chose this morning.

"Good morning," Jem woke her up by greeting her.

"Good morning," she replied and adverted his gaze. She felt self-conscious under it.

Ayaka turned to Sophie who still stood by her chair and fixed something in her hair. Or she pretended to.

"Sophie, I may have forgotten some oxygen in my room…"

The maid and Charlotte smiled at each other knowingly.

Ayaka was uncomfortable, the corset was tight and restricting, everyone was staring at her new attire, and at the top of that when she saw Jem looking so dashing, it didn't help.

"You'll survive, miss," assured her Sophie and left through the door that led to the kitchen.

Ayaka turned to her empty plate grumpy faced. She sighed and reached for toast and butter, ignoring Will's sneer.

"You should consider this as education," said Jessamine.

"I appreciate your input," said Ayaka bitterly. "Why aren't you coming with us anyway?"

"I already have my gown," Jessamine replied lofty.

"What colour? I don't want to look the same."

Jessamine's face was alarmingly red from Ayaka's cool and spiteful comment.

"Pink… and you won't. That's literally impossible."

Before Ayaka could stab the blonde with a knife that was in her hands, Will spoke, "You're all in a very cheerful mood this morning."

Ayaka and Jessie glared at him.

"Ayaka, Jem will be escorting you and Sophie today. He needs to buy something as well," Charlotte interfered the potential danger.

Ayaka turned to Charlotte, then looked at Jem, surprise in her face. She restrained herself from a wide grin and nodded. The happiness in her eyes was hard to conceal. That was her initial reaction, after a couple of seconds, she considered the situation more calmly. Ayaka tried not to blush at the thought of Jem buying dresses with her… and Sophie. Men didn't go dress shopping with women as far as she knew. What would he do? Sit somewhere in a corner and look around the shop?

Jem stood up from his chair. "I'll get my cloak and tell Thomas where we're going."

"Just don't go to Mecci's Robes, they're horrific," said Jessamine.

Jem froze on the spot and stared with wide eyes at Jessamine. His eyes shifted to Will who started laughing once he saw Jem's expression. Ayaka was in a shock from seeing Will laughing so loud, she'd never seen him as happy as he was now.

"Yes," Jem was slowly unfreezing, "Sure, I'll let Thomas know not to go there. No doubts he has experience with these things."

He spun on his heel and walked out of the dining room.

Will yelled after him, "Buy me that silk undergarment I was telling you about yesterday."

Jem's head appeared in the doorway and smirked. He'd decided to play along. "Of course. The pretty one with lace?" Ayaka almost spat out her tea when she heard his suggestive undertone.

Will nodded, winking at Jem, "I want to wear something nice under my ball-suit."

Jem laughed, rolled his eyes and disappeared.

* * *

Ayaka was glad for the fresh wind in her face when she got out of carriage. The ride had been a bit uncomfortable in the space. The skirt of her dress brushed Jem's leg, not to mention Sophie's occasional glimpse.

She looked around the street, she didn't know the name but recognised it from one of her nightly wanders. It was wide with lots of shops that had marquees above their entrance crowded with people, gentlemen and women in more elaborate dresses than her. They also wore hats that made Ayaka think how in Raziel's name they managed to balance on their heads. The little group of three she was in were hatless, but she didn't mind. She turned her gaze in Jem's direction. He was talking to Thomas and looking at something on the other side of the street. His hair gave out a metallic sheen, a couple of people passing by had noticed his strange colouring but didn't comment.

Thomas rode away to park the carriage somewhere more secluded. Jem turned to the girls. Sophie already stood at the entrance to the shop.

"You really don't need to come with us, Master Jem, we can manage."

The silver Shadowhunter shifted nervously from one leg to another. "I think I should. What if something bad happens while I'm gone?"

Ayaka grinned and told Sophie, "What he actually means is that he wants to look for that lace nightgown."

Sophie and Jem blushed.

"Can we just leave that?" asked Jem.

Ayaka reluctantly agreed and followed Sophie to the shop. One of the saleswomen greeted them, Ayaka noticed she must have met Sophie before, no doubt in the company of Jessamine. Sophie explained what they wanted, the saleswoman eyed Ayaka thoroughly.

"It should be easy, you are very pretty, Miss."

 _So, if I was ugly, it would be hard?_ Ayaka thought for herself, not wanting to be rude one minute after she met the woman. She just smiled and thanked her.

Jem was instructed to sit down on a sky-blue settee and wait. There were newspapers on a coffee table in front of it, either left by previous men, or prepared by the saleswomen for the gentlemen.

The first gown was in a shade the seamstress called 'salmon' which Ayaka couldn't help but say, "Just put some rice on me too and I could pretend to be a sushi." Jem hid his face behind the papers to hide his smile and Sophie looked at the seamstress nervously, expecting her to be insulted and throw them out. She was just confused when she heard the word 'sushi'. The second one was bright blue that caught everybody's eyes ("Oh, lace nightgowns are so scandalous they make both of you blush, but this," Ayaka pointed at her low cleavage, "is good? There is something wrong with you people.").

After fifteen minutes, Ayaka emerged from behind drapes at the end of the shop for the third time to reveal another dress. It was a tulle gown in blood-red colour with white flowers around the cleavage.

Sophie gasped, "Miss, you look beautiful!"

"Then it's a good thing I didn't choose any of the previous two. And what is _he_ doing?" Ayaka pointed at Jem, who was napping on the settee.

Sophie smiled and looked away quickly before anyone could notice her affectionate expression.

"The gentleman is expressing his boredom," said the seamstress.

"How rude," Ayaka breathed out but with a hint of amusement.

When Ayaka disappeared behind the drapes, Jem woke up groggily and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm sorry I dozed off. What did I miss?"

He and Sophie heard an evil giggle from Ayaka changing back into Charlotte's clothes.

* * *

The seamstress promised to deliver the dress as soon as possible and the group left the shop. Jem, Ayaka and Sophie stepped out onto the street and the girls turned to Jem.

"The music shop is across the street," he said and they followed him. He seemed to be in a better mood now.

On their way there, Ayaka sensed someone's eyes on her. She looked around and after a couple of seconds and she met with a stare of one man dressed in a suit accompanying a woman approximately in his years. He had a hat on that concealed his ginger hair but she still recognised him. All the blood withdrew from her face.

Ayaka quickly adverted her gaze and stepped closer behind Jem's back, hidden from the man's view.

Jem glanced behind his back. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she nodded and avoided looking at anyone.

Sophie and Jem exchanged glances, Sophie shrugged and Jem let it be as they approached the shop. He let the girls in and stepped in after them after he had looked around the street to make sure no one was watching them. Something made Ayaka alarmed and tensed. But he had seen nothing and nobody watching them.

"Mr. Carstairs," the owner of the shop greeted him cheerfully.

"Mr. Sadler."

Jem shook his hand to greet the middle-aged man with blonde hair and clean shaved friendly face. The girls watched them curiously. The owner noticed and said, "I've known this boy since he was thirteen. Wonderful violinist!"

"I'm far from wonderful, Mr. Sadler," said Jem humbly and introduced the girls to him.

Mr. Sadler lightly touched their knuckled with his lips, "It's nice to meet you, ladies. Now, what have you come for today?" he asked Jem.

"New strings and I'm also running out of rosin."

"All right, follow me."

The girls walked behind them gingerly, careful not to bump into any musical instrument. The shop wasn't very big and there were lots of stuff scattered around. This place appeared to be not only Jem's favourite. Sophie and Ayaka noticed they were the only girls in the shop, except for one small girl begging her father to buy her a flute.

Mr. Sadler showed Jem strings and while he was choosing which one to buy, he stepped closer to the boy and told him in quiet voice, "I no longer feel sorry that my daughter is married."

Jem regarded the older man with almost suspicious look, "Why?"

"You've never come to this shop with a female company before. And now you bring two! I used to fancy my daughter as your wife. You would have made a sweet couple," Jem supressed the cringe and hoped Ayaka didn't hear Mr. Sadler's words. "But I chose a different husband for her, someone my wife called more suitable. I felt a bit regretful at first but now that I see you with those two girls, I don't feel sorry anymore."

Jem felt his cheeks growing hotter and was glad he stood with his back to Ayaka and Sophie. He had an urge to tell Mr. Sadler he came for strings and rosin and not to talk about girls. Instead, he just said, "I'll buy these," and showed the man the strings. Jem walked over to shelves that displayed wood boxes of rosin.

When he picked one of them, he heard a male voice. "James Carstairs, what a surprise!"

Jem spun in the direction of the speaker and saw a familiar face. The boy was two years older than him and had light brown hair and black eyes. He was such an obnoxious person; his name was Alan Cordon.

"Not really, considering I come here at least ten times a year," Jem replied calmly with a hint of irony.

In his peripheral vision, he noticed Ayaka and Sophie raise their eyebrows at this interaction.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to these lovely ladies you brought here?"

Jem introduced them and watched their knuckles being kissed for the second time today. Suddenly he felt the need to push him away from Ayaka.

"How's your progress going?" Jem asked as politely as he could manage.

Alan straightened and puffed out his chest. "I assure you my skills improved and I could beat you this time," he said smugly.

"I wouldn't be so sure. Are you still using the cradle***?"

Ayaka and Sophie stared at them with wide eyes, not knowing what the hell was happening. Alan glared at Jem who gave him a little smile. Then the silver-haired boy turned to confused girls and started explaining.

"Alan and I had a little bit of a competition last year here in the shop. It'd been Alan's challenge because he didn't believe I could surpass his… skills. The one with the loudest applause was to be the winner."

The girls glanced at each other, both of them knew who won. Jem cleared his throat.

"Well, let's just say that since then, Alan has been very bitter about it," Jem added in more quiet voice as to prevent Alan from getting angrier than he already was.

"It was a huge surprise. I had never expected anyone like Jem to beat me," said Alan and regarded Jem with a superior glint in his eyes.

Ayaka let out a very unladylike snore and everyone around looked at her. Ayaka ignored them and focused on Alan's, in her opinion, ugly face.

"Appearance has nothing to do with actual talent. You only wish to be half the violinist Jem is," she said boldly and crossed her arms.

"Miss," Sophie gasped at the, apparently, scandalous thing Ayaka said. Everyone, including Mr. Sadler, stared now intensely and waited in silence what will be Mr. Cordon's reaction.

"Excuse me?" his voice was dangerously low. "You haven't even heard me play. How dare you make assumptions like that about me?"

"I heard Jem play and I think that's enough proof to assume he's the best," said Ayaka fiercely.

Alan looked at Jem with ridiculed expression. "You really need this little girl to defend you, Carstairs?"

Jem clenched his jaw and after a few seconds of silence, he said, "If she's defending me, it's out of her own free will. I certainly don't need her defence, I never asked for it and I never will."

"All right, gentleman," Mr. Sadler spoke up before anything worse could happen, "I think that's enough. I don't need fights in my shop."

Jem paid for his items and walked out without a word.

* * *

 _*thank you_

 _**you're welcome_

 _***I'm not sure if it's the correct term but I mean the shoulder violin cradle/pad for support_


	9. Chapter 8 - You're My Religion

_The chapter title is from the song Religion by Lana Del Rey. It was an inspiration for this chapter, future chapters and the relationship Jem and Ayaka are forming. But the devotion and desperation of the song is 90% Ayaka's._

 _Features Jem's parents and their story (because there's not enough of Jem's past and his parents in the books)! I'm not sure if it's good but I tried not to make it too long because it's just a part of this chapter. This is probably the longest chapter so far and I'm very excited about it (slightly over 4000 words)! It has some sweet Jem & Ayaka moments that I think you'll enjoy :)._

* * *

He felt like the biggest fool in the entire world. Jem had hoped Ayaka wouldn't meet Alan. He had always been humiliating him whenever he could and the last thing he needed was Ayaka witnessing it. And he just stood there. Instead, it was Ayaka who stood up for him. The problem for Jem wasn't that she was a girl and she diminished his pride or manliness or whatever mundanes called it. It was a problem for people like Alan Cordon and Jem didn't want more trouble. He almost wanted to punch Alan for speaking to Ayaka that way but refrained.

 _Typical mundanes with their old-fashioned opinions_ , Jem thought bitterly but paused at the thought. He shouldn't be getting angry. That wasn't how he was. He took deep breaths to calm down.

Ayaka and Sophie followed close behind him. Jem led them to a courtyard behind the building. That's where Thomas was waiting them, petting the horses.

The ride to the Institute was quiet, Ayaka was sitting next to Sophie facing Jem. He was stolid but his posture gave him away. Jem was looking out of the window, avoiding Ayaka's and Sophie's eyes, he clutched the things he had bought in his lap and it made Ayaka worry his knuckles would pop from beneath his skin.

The carriage suddenly stopped, Jem stuck his head out and asked Thomas what is happening.

"Carriage accident, three carriages collided. It's a mess. I think we'll stay here for a while."

Thomas was right, there was no way out because there were other carriages next to theirs, waiting to pass and angry coachmen were yelling at one another.

Sophie sighed. "I hope no one got hurt."

Ayaka wanted to tell her that the horses were probably injured but stopped herself. The maid already looked pale and nervous.

"There is one good thing about it, though," she said instead. Jem still didn't look at her. "There's no way out which means… you can explain how do you know that ass."

Jem blinked at the expression and glanced at her, their eyes finally met. She was angry… unsurprisingly. He let out a breath.

"He's not worth the words. Like you said, he's an ass," that was all he said and looked out of the window again.

"Why would you even say something like that to him?" asked Sophie in a scandalised tone.

Ayaka stared at her, not believing what she heard. "I'm sorry? Was I supposed to act all British like you and pretend nothing is going on and sip my stupid imported tea?" Jem bit his lip to hide smile while Sophie looked shocked at the burst of anger. "No thank you. And I was already… annoyed," she finished in a bit dumb way. Ayaka just had no desire to admit she had been scared from the point she saw that man from the brothel.

Jem eyed her curiously but he didn't say anything. He didn't want to ask in front of Sophie what upset the young Shadowhunter.

* * *

Jem and Ayaka had lunch together in the dining room since everyone had already eaten. They had come to the Institute ten minutes after the lunch was over. Sophie had run to the kitchens, eating and talking with Agatha.

"Do you know how to dance?" Jem asked her out of the blue.

Ayaka stiffed and looked up from her plate. She wasn't sure he was asking to avoid the awkward silence, but Jem seemed to be genuinely curious, unlike Mortmain on that night she first met him.

"Hm… I… not the ballroom dances."

"Well, maybe I could teach you," he suggested.

"You?"

Jem looked down briefly, thinking of what to answer.

"Do you doubt my dancing abilities?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"No!" she cried out and dropped a fork. "Of course not. It's just that I thought it would be too much trouble."

"It's no trouble. Maybe we could give ourselves a break from fighting. It's Christmas soon and we're already ahead. You're a fast learner," he said. Jem tried to sound optimistic but failed. Instead he sounded very serious.

Ayaka wasn't very comfortable with them to neglect Shadowhuntering for… _dancing_. She frowned at the thought. But then, she would still train something with Jem, this something being twirling in a circle.

"Fine," she agreed eventually.

She felt tired and annoyed. The man's piercing eyes were still at the back of her mind. Ayaka wanted to be alone. And to change into something loose, she wanted to throw that stupid corset out of the window or burn it. However, she couldn't do any of those things, it wasn't hers.

"Are you all right?" Jem's voice woke her from her thoughts.

Ayaka looked at him and placed the cutlery on the plate.

"Yes, but I seriously need to change into something… normal. I'm tired," she explained as she rose from the chair. "Changing from one dress to another hundred times is exhausting."

* * *

When she finally took off everything after ten minutes of struggling with the laces on her own, she put on a dressing gown and nothing else. Ayaka tied it around her waist and walked to the window to breath in some air. The foul smell of it wasn't as bad in winter, however she still smelled the dirt and had no doubts it would last ages for the stench to disappear.

Ayaka took a nap and found herself deep in sleep, surrounded by the stink of _East Magic_. The ginger-haired man sat on her bed and she was in his lap, stroking his cheek and suppressing her digust behind smile. He was telling her about his wife and that she could have reported him to the authorities if she knew what he desired to do to a woman. She had never heard of what sodomy meant. Even he didn't explain fully what he meant.

Knocking at the door woke her up. If the knocking didn't rouse her, it would be the memory of the pain she felt that night.

"Ayaka? It's dinner time."

Jem.

She didn't want to get up and open the door. She hated herself for being such a coward. A second chance was given to her and here she was… brooding. She wasn't the only one who was hurt. Contemplating at that thought made her rise from the bed and she made her way to the door.

When Jem saw her, he blushed as he saw her attire and looked down, then focused back on her face. Ayaka noticed his Adam's apple bob. She hadn't even realised she was almost naked except for her dressing gown.

"I'm sorry. I was sleeping."

"Did I wake you up?"

He immediately wanted to slap himself for that stupid question.

 _What is wrong with you?_ he asked himself.

Ayaka gave him a small smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Yes, but I don't mind. It's good that you did. I'll join you at the dinner, I just need to put some clothes on," she said while looking at her ivory gown.

Jem nodded and she closed the door.

* * *

Mizushima was lucky tonight. Everything played into his cards, literally.

Mr. Rogers put down his cigar and looked at him seriously.

"I saw her today," he said quietly. There were other people around the table and in the whole dim lit room.

Mizushima's shark eyes bore into Rogers' blue ones, asking for explanation of his words.

"She wasn't alone, there was also another woman, she looked like a maid and had a scar on her cheek. What grabbed my attention was the silver-haired boy you mentioned before. The one with black hair wasn't with them, but the silver one was. She seemed happy with them."

The only thing the businessman did was nod and rub two cards against each other.

* * *

A sweet violin music poured from beneath her bedroom door. But the sound was dimmed, it wasn't enough to calm her down.

Dinner had been quiet, except for small talk about the shopping and how it went. Her answers were short. To her surprise, Jem had mentioned Alan, to which Will commented, "Uh, what a waste of space that mundane. You should've just punched him and he would've left you alone." Jem said he "wouldn't do such a thing… even though it's hard to resist."

Ayaka had returned to her room, changed into nightgown and lied down on a bed with a book she had taken from the library few days ago. It was a copy of Jane Eyre. If it wasn't for Jem's music, she would have fallen asleep already. Ayaka hoped the story would get more interesting later in the book. For now she could only sympathise with the heroine. She had been locked up and beaten too.

Eventually, she got up and walked over to Jem's door. They were ajar and the music was louder here in the corridor.

Jem stood with his back facing the door, playing passionately on his new strings. He was totally engrossed in the music, which she envied a bit. She sneaked in and closed the door quietly. Ayaka sat down in an armchair and covered herself with his black frock coat that was splayed over the back. Listening to the melody and breathing in to his scent on the coat made her sleepy and before she knew it, she was in the dreamland.

Darkness met her eyes when she next opened them. The smell of burnt sugar and what was probably Jem's soap filled her lungs. She was in his bed fully covered with his blankets, it made her feel very comfortable and safe.

She sat up nevertheless. She now noticed a dimly lit witchlight on his desk by which he sat and was writing something down with one hand, with the other he held his violin. He stopped writing for a moment and strummed tunes on the strings.

He was such a strange Shadowhunter. So genuine and kind-hearted, but also proud and fair. Ayaka roamed in her mind and couldn't think of anyone like him. After everything he went through, the silver boy was still so gracious. James Carstairs was an enigma to her. He wasn't just the good one. His goodness wasn't to be taken for granted. And she had no intention of undervaluing it.

"Are you composing?" she asked, frightening him a bit.

He spun around on the chair and gaped at her.

"Yes. I thought you were sleeping."

"I was, I just woke up," she said as she hugged her covered knees and placed her head on them.

Jem put down everything and came to her. He sat down next to her, their shoulders were nearly touching.

"It's hard to stop myself from asking what upset you. It might agitate you even more and I don't want to wake bad memories in you."

"They are haunting me when I least expect them. You wouldn't be waking them," she whispered as her voice was weak.

Ayaka wanted to have a good cry and then brace herself to be stronger than her tears.

She felt a pair of warm arms around her and the tears finally pushed through.

"I haven't felt kindness in a while, forgive me for wetting your shirt with this salty water coming out of my eyes," she tried to joke.

Jem didn't say anything, instead he snuggled her closer to his body. She hugged his waist and he stoked her hair with his right hand while the other caressed her back. Ayaka didn't know how long she was crying in his embrace. She wanted to say what happened, he deserved to know but was afraid he would think she's bad or something worse. She was a girl who committed sodomy, which according to that man was such a big sin that only a whore wouldn't think twice about it.

"If you don't want to tell me, it's all right. But if you do, I promise I won't judge you," he murmured against her hair and for a second she was glad she had washed them today.

"Let's just say," she spoke between her sobs, "that I was made to do something terrible. Not a murder of a mundane or anything like that," she said quickly after she felt his body still.

Ayaka was quiet for a while, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath, then whispered into his shirt, "I'm just a girl. Why would anyone do that to a girl? And thinking I may have not been the only one… it makes me sick. It hurt so much," she gripped the fabric in a fist to restrain herself from bursting into a full cry again. She took a deep breath through her mouth, then out. In and out again to calm down.

"Did he… rape you?" Jem guessed timidly.

"No. I didn't exactly protest. What was I supposed to do? That bastard didn't explain what he wanted exactly. He only told me it was sodomy and it's not what he could do with his wife. He was persuading me to do it and I did."

Jem gasped, she didn't even want to look up.

"I was stupid."

"By the Angel. No! You're not stupid. He shouldn't have done it."

His arms tightened around her and she felt a pair of slightly chapped lips on her forehead. She knew what it meant. Protection.

She began to relax.

"You don't hate me?"

"No, I could never hate you. You're just a girl and he's a..." Jem hesitated and considered his next words. "I don't think there's a foul enough word to describe a man who would hurt a girl. And Angel knows what could have happened if you refused."

She didn't want to dwell on that thought for too long.

"Do you have a handkerchief?"

* * *

She stayed with him. Jem was anxious to leave her alone. He didn't want to let go despite knowing it wasn't appropriate to let her lay in his arms.

"You really don't mind?"

"I really don't mind," he confirmed and kissed the top of her head.

He was playing with her hair, hugging her thin waist, brushing the warm body with his thumb through the fabric of her nightgown. He never experienced anything like this before. Jem never had a girl in his bed before but he told himself that as long as her name was Mizushima Ayaka, he didn't mind. She smelled like one of Charlotte's flowers and he couldn't get enough of that. It was much purer than _yin fen_ he had been breathing for years. It made him relax like nothing in a long time.

"Can you tell me a story? To take my mind off things."

"I'm not really good at narration."

"What about a story of how your parents met? I'm sure it was very romantic."

Jem smiled at the thought of his parents and their story they'd shared with him. He might, after all, attempt to share it with her.

* * *

 _Ke Wen Yu walked through the gate of the Shanghai Institute. She and her team had killed demons near the Bund. But this was an important day and they had come late. Her father, the guests, other residents of the Institute and, practically the whole staff was already waiting for them._

 _Two English Shadowhunters had come to train in their Institute. She didn't understand what the fuss was about._

 _Wen Yu noticed them standing behind Ke-shīfù (A/N: shīfù is a Chinese honorific that refers to a master), her father and the Head of the Institute. One was a bit taller and slender than the other. The taller man had light brown hair, the shorter but more muscular one had blonde hair. However, both had the same eye colour – blue. They were quite handsome. She tried not to stare too much. She shouldn't anyway._

 _"What took you so long?" her father asked in Mandarin once they stopped in front of the stairs on which they were waiting._

 _"Vetis demon in the Bund," answered one of the men behind Wen Yu._

 _The Head only nodded but she saw he wasn't happy that they returned with ichor and blood all over them._

 _"As you have noticed," he began talking again, this time in English, "our long-awaited guests arrived from London Institute. This is my daughter Ke Wen Yu," he introduced her to the English Shadowhunters. "Wen Yu, meet Jonah," he pointed at the taller one, "and Elias Carstairs," her father pointed at the shorter boy._

 _They both bowed as she did. Jonah attracted her attention somehow. She didn't like admitting it. People called those people yang guizi. Foreign devils. She knew they had reasons for it._

 _He was watching her. Jonah had a curious look in his eyes but also admiration. She almost snorted. Why would he admire her and for what exactly? For looking like a mess after a big fight with a demon?_

* * *

 _She sat on one of the trees in the Institute garden with a poetry book, written by Zhang Jiu Ling, in her hand. She steadied herself on the big branch when she heard voices coming her way._

 _"Elias seems to be enjoying himself here." That was her father, talking to Jonah. Wen Yu noticed that he favoured Jonah. Even the younger wards liked him, Jonah had built a respect for himself during his first three months at the Institute._

 _"He acts like any younger brother would, Ke-shīfù," she smiled at his pronunciation. "Elias was the one who wished to come. London had become bleak after our mother died. And Elias always wanted to travel."_

 _"What about you?"_

 _They walked closer to her tree and she tried to stay still so they wouldn't notice her listening in._

 _"I like travelling as well but I want to settle down. Have family, children," he sounded honest or maybe he just knew what to say. Her father had been bothering her with questions about marriage since she was eighteen._

 _"How old are you?"_

 _"Twenty-three."_

 _One year older than her. Hmm…_

 _They both looked up in surprise. She must have hummed out loud. She blushed when she noticed father's cunning glance._

 _"What are you reading?"_

 _She wished she disappeared on the spot. Why did her father have to embarrass her so much in front of other men? As if Jonah was interested in Chinese poetry. To be honest, she wasn't very interested either._

 _"Nothing."_

 _She jumped off the branch and before she managed to escape this awkward situation, her father said, "I'm sure Jonah will be interested in that_ Nothing _you're reading." He gave the young man a small push towards her._

 _He was really tall. She would have bet his chin could barely touch her head. Despite his height, he wasn't intimidating. His face was gentle even when he had high cheekbones, sharp jawline and straight nose._

 _"He could play violin for you while you're reading," said father. "Girls like boys who can play an instrument."_

 _They both turned his way, they completely forgot he'd been watching them the whole time. The Head of the Institute gave them a wink and left._

 _Jonah licked his lips. Wen Yu felt her throat was dry. This was the first time they were alone. For the whole three months since Jonah and Elias came here, they were never by themselves. They were always with other people, sharing glances across the training field outside or across table in the dining room._

 _"Would you want me to play you a song then?"_

 _"You can play two songs if you're good," she answered and regretted it afterwards. Didn't she want to leave? Now she basically told him he can stay in her presence longer than necessary._

 _Jonah smiled and told her to wait for him there._

* * *

 _She saw a green Mongolian plain, horses with their skilled riders, sheep and birds. It was beautiful. She was riding one of the horses, she heard the men shouting orders at them to run faster. Wen Yu felt alive, full of energy._

 _She turned her head and saw Jonah, riding alongside her. He noticed her too. They both slowed down and eventually stopped their horses. They didn't say anything. They didn't have to._

 _Jonah moved his horse closer to hers, their knees almost touching. He offered her his hand and she took it. Now she noticed how small it was in his. Jonah bent down and kissed her knuckles, her breath hitched in her throat at the touch. He never took his eyes off her._

 _"Wen Yu," he hit the tones correctly when he said her name._

 _"Wen Yu!"_

 _She was startled when she felt his hand on her shoulder and looked up at him. They were in the garden, not Mongolia. She was sitting on a bench and he stood in front of her with violin and bow in his hands._

 _"Was it not good? You dozed off."_

 _She straightened herself and looked at him with clearer sight. No horses or birds._

 _"Yes. I mean no." Angel, she didn't know what she was saying. "It was good," she corrected herself quickly._

 _He chuckled softly and sat down next to her._

 _"I haven't played in a while, I was worried it wouldn't come out as perfectly as I wanted it to."_

 _"It was good," she repeated hastily and blushed even more when she saw his amused glint in his blue eyes._

 _"I'm not very good with words. Maybe I could play you something in return."_

 _"You play?" he asked her. He was surprised. He had thought the poetry book meant she preferred reading to music._

 _"I play qin. Not very well," she added._

 _"May I be the judge of that?"_

* * *

 _She played for him and it was angelic music to him. He told her and made her blush. She fought hard not to fall in love with him carelessly but they understood their music and it was hard to deny such a thing._

* * *

 _Ten-year-old Jem walked into the back yard. His father was practicing the arrow shooting again. Jem's mother was correcting his mistakes by making comments on his poor posture. Jonah had told his son that he kissed his mother for the first time when she criticised his bow and arrow skills. And here they were again. He smiled as he watched their parents. His father hit the target and Wen Yu patted him on the back._

 _"Don't make fun of me," he heard his father say. Then Jonah bent a little to give his wife a kiss on the tip of her nose. She giggled and told him to stop._

 _Both of them turned to Jem, his mother blushed and father smiled. Jonah came up to his son and knelt in front of him._

 _"Do you want to practice shooting with me? I'm very good at it," he said confidently._

 _"Dad, Māmā told me lying is a bad thing and we shouldn't do it," answered Jem._

 _That made his mother laugh. "You're a good boy, Jian," she praised him. "I hope you'll find a girl one day and will teach her how to shoot arrows."_

* * *

"Aw, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard," she whispered, placed her hand over his fast-beating heart and snuggled closer to his side.

Jem smiled and stayed silent. She fell asleep before he did. He listened to her steady breathing and eventually fell asleep as well.


	10. Chapter 9 - Christmas is Coming

_Firstly, whoever's reading this - I wish you Merry Christmas!_

 _I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages, but it seems I can write this story only when I have exam periods. But here's a next chapter where the plot thickens a bit. I hope you'll like it._

* * *

Ayaka woke up in a bundle of Jem's body and blankets. They both lied on their sides, Jem had his arm thrown around her to hold her closely in a protective manner, she also felt his leg around hers. Ayaka's one arm was squashed between their bodies awkwardly and the other one was around Jem's slim waist.

There wasn't much she could see due to her head being pressed against his chest. She could see the chain of his pendant, she stared at his pale skin for a while, and when she decided to move to look behind his shoulder, she noticed it was dark outside. However, not as dark as when she last woke up. Suddenly, she felt a tingle of anxiety. What was the time? Was Sophie up already?

Jem grunted and stirred. Ayaka lied back on his outstretched arm and watched him as he was waking up.

"Ayaka?" his voice was hoarse from sleep. She liked it.

She withdrew her hand from his waist and stroked his cheek. Jem blinked, showing her his silver-coloured eyes. Fighting back a smile was pointless. He was so handsome to her with his ruffled hair, sleepy eyes and raspy voice. He returned her smile.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you for letting me stay."

"Of course. I wouldn't want you to be alone," Jem told her and brushed a strand of hair off her face.

Ayaka closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy that gesture.

"What's the time?" he asked.

"I don't know, I just woke up. It seems it's going to be dawn soon."

Jem untangled himself from her reluctantly, rose on his elbows. He turned his head to the bedside table, offering a nice view of his pale neck for Ayaka.

"Quarter to six."

Ayaka abruptly sat up.

"I should return to my own bed before Sophie wakes up."

Jem yawned and fell back on his pillow. He touched her arm where her cut sleeve ended and slid his fingers inside to caress the skin beneath the fabric.

"Five more minutes," he said, closing his eyes and missing her flushed face.

Ayaka took his hand gently and kissed it. He was sleeping again and she watched him for a couple more minutes before leaving him.

* * *

Three days of their dancing lessons have passed. Ayaka didn't seem to have talent for dancing in circles at first. She had claimed it was because there was no music, but Jem didn't let her fool him and told her to stop making excuses.

"You're a very strict sensei," she had said.

Sensei was how she called him behind the door of the training room. She had explained what it meant and how he should address her. Ayaka-chan or Ayaka-kun. She said chan was cuter so he used it only when he was happy. Jem had tried to teach her some Chinese honorifics but when she pronounced them, he couldn't fight back a smirk. As a result, she felt offended that he smiled at her attempts.

"Why aren't you calling me senpai instead of sensei? Wouldn't it be nicer?"

"Because you're my teacher and I'm taking learning very seriously."

"I see. Now, move your right leg back…"

* * *

Will interrupted them when he called out for his parabatai.

"Hydra in the Smithfield, Jem! No time for dancing,"

Jem let go of Ayaka's waist and spun to look at the doorway. The black-haired boy stood there, tapping his foot impatiently.

"I'll go with you," said Ayaka to Jem.

"We don't need you there," Will barked at her, "it's just hydra, we can take care of it."

Jem glanced nervously at both of them.

"She's been training for weeks, one little trip to Smithfield won't kill her. It takes five minutes to get there if we use our speed."

Will let out a frustrated sigh and agreed.

* * *

Ayaka was used to a horrible stink but this was too much. She concluded very quickly a meat market was not her favourite place in the whole city.

She was glad she managed to sneak on hydra and slice all its heads before it could kill the oblivious mundane who was chopping off huge pieces of pork. She quickly whirled to look for the boys, Jem walked her direction, the blade of his cane was covered in ichor, and Will was behind him, with a torn sleeve but otherwise they were not injured.

"That wasn't bad."

If she met Will today, she would have said it was a compliment. She didn't forget to thank him with a big dose of sarcasm.

Jem watched with amusement their exchange.

"Are you all right?" he asked Ayaka and swept his eyes over her. She tried not to make anything more out of it.

"Yes. You?"

Jem nodded.

"I'm good, thanks for asking," answered Will question clearly not aimed at him.

Before Ayaka could say something rude, Jem stepped in.

"We found something interesting back there," Jem informed her and pointed behind his shoulder. "A dead mundane. With his head gone, it'd been chopped off."

Ayaka frowned. "Was there anything else?"

"Just this," Jem drew out a piece of blooded paper with a straight ink line.

"Ichi. That's one," she said more for herself than Jem and Will.

It was a clear message that this murder won't be the last one. There were so many questions hanging in the air, unspoken and unanswered.

"We tried tracking Mark but there's something blocking it. Warlock's work."

"Why would any warlock risk joining in with a murderer of innocent mundanes?" Ayaka asked.

"There's only one so far," Jem pointed out.

"Yes, so far. And I bet money are enough risk for a warlock to help a murderer," said Will.

Ayaka groaned and rolled her eyes. "Why does it always have to be money? That's so predictable!"

Jem chuckled.

"But that's how it works. Some warlocks like money, and they, just like anyone else, can be corrupted and greedy," he lectured. "But of course, there are exceptions, most are smarter than this."

* * *

All three of them returned to the Institute. Jem had suggested telling Charlotte, so the first thing they did was to find her in the drawing room.

She wanted to contact the Enclave to hold a meeting, but Will stopped her.

"We can handle this, Charlotte."

"This looks very serious, Will," she protested, waving with the piece of paper. "You can't just 'handle' murderer with a launch. And I need to write Ragnor Fell too."

* * *

When Will and Jem went to the place they had hid the body to avoid mundanes finding out, the body was gone.

* * *

She had been quite annoyed the next morning. Ayaka hurled the knife with a great force at the target.

First, Jessamine tried to rile her by making snide remarks about her, Ayaka wanted to spill the hot tea all over her face but one warning look from Charlotte stopped her. Second, she opened Jem's door and saw Sophie tending to sick unconscious Jem.

Was she jealous? She huffed. Maybe. She didn't know why. When she'd been a child, she was quite possessive, and hoped she would grow out of that trait. Ayaka lost everything after her parents' death, so she didn't have the luxury of feeling so attached to anything… or anyone. It was different now, and the immature character of her childhood began to show itself when she saw Sophie's hand on Jem's forehead.

"Someone's angry," commented Will who had just come into the training room.

"Mind your own business," she snarled.

But Will, being Will, didn't mind his own business and picked a staff.

"Train with me," he told her.

Ayaka missed the target as she was shocked by his words. She twirled around to stare at him. Why would he want to train with her?

Will seemed to know what she was thinking as he answered, "Jem's not here and I'm his parabatai. Besides, you're not as useless as I had thought. Still, you're not quite on my level yet," he added with a smirk just to make up for the previous statement.

"We'll see," Ayaka said dangerously and chose her staff out of a pile.

After good ten minutes of something that should be called a duel not training, Will lied splayed on the stone floor, his hand being crushed by her boot, his staff out of his reach. Ayaka pointed her staff at his face and pressed the tip against his cheek.

He'd attacked first. Ayaka dodged him, the force of his own body sent him flying to the closest wall. She had laughed at him which made him fully aware of his stupid move. He had tried to fix his mistake by being less tense and fierce, but eventually Ayaka got bored of his cliché moves he used. She could predict them with at least thirty second advance. Staff wasn't his weapon and it was obvious. In one swift moment he was on the floor.

"Don't underestimate a girl with a weapon that can spike you like the sausage you are. You're way too aggressive and not very agile. I would work on that pelvis if I were you."

Before he could say anything, she tossed her staff on his back and left.

She let out a breath once she was soaked in a bath. Beating Will made her feel much better.

* * *

Four days before Christmas party, High Warlock of London payed them a visit in the Institute. Ayaka haven't met him when he arrived because she and Jem were busy practicing. Actually, Jem was the one who rehearsed a song he had composed for the party, and Ayaka practiced repressing tears that were about to come out of her whenever she heard the piece.

The moment she and Jem stepped into the dining room, her eyes were drawn to a man with green skin, startlingly white hair and two small horns sticking out of his forehead. Upon closer look, she noticed he had extra joints in his fingers that held a wine glass.

"Oh, Mr. Carstairs, no doubt that beautiful melody was yours," he spoke up.

Jem humbly nodded and thanked him. Charlotte introduced Ragnor to Ayaka when they sat down.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Fell," she said politely.

Ragnor smiled. "Just Ragnor, please."

"That's not fair! Why do we have to call you Mr. Fell while she can call you Ragnor!" Will complained loudly.

Ragnor gave another smile and drank from his cup.

"The blocking spell on that piece of paper is very strong. I can sense some demonic energy on it too. I would be careful if I were you," he advised them.

"Did you manage to break the spell?" asked Jem.

"Yes and no. It brought me nowhere in particular, just a location in East End. Quite random but I suppose that's on purpose. Let's say it's a start," he finished optimistically.

"Maybe if we collect more, it'll be easier."

"It's almost as if you were looking forward to next murders," murmured Jessamine.

Ayaka had to stretch her neck to get a good look at the blonde girl.

"Shut up, it's not like you were there so stay out of it!"

Charlotte choked on her wine, Henry only raised his head curiously. Will whistled at Ayaka's word choice, and regarded her with something that was almost an admiration, Ragnor's eyes widened but he didn't look angry, more like interested in the scandal, and Jem stared at Ayaka, surprised about her outburst.

Ayaka couldn't have stopped herself. Jessamine implied she wanted mundanes dead just so the investigation could continue.

 _How dare she?_ Ayaka thought for herself.

Jessamine merely cleared her throat and said in haughty manner, "I wouldn't even _want_ to be there. A lady should not go to such places as Smithfield."

"Then I don't see why you even care. Why do you have to comment on everything when it's clearly not your business."

Jessamine didn't say anything afterwards, but glared at her and the already empty plate in front of her. Ayaka didn't feel sorry for lashing out at her like that. She did not let anyone humiliate her like that. Those who did had to live with the consequences. However, she was a little guilty when she thought of Charlotte and for being rude in front of the guest.

* * *

Will and Jem found another headless body near St. Katharine's Docks in the morning two days before the ball. The killer was the same as the one before; he left a paper with 二 on it. The person was counting, and he wanted them to count as well. Charlotte had agreed with Ayaka, to her surprise, that they should collect more for Ragnor. The questions swarmed in their heads. How many more? What was the final number? Who was the killer and where did he keep all those heads? Did he really keep them or threw them somewhere where they haven't look yet? Could the killer be her uncle? Was he capable of murder? The worst thing was that there was no proof.

The Enclave met that afternoon. Naturally, Ayaka, Jem and Will weren't allowed (as well as Jessamine, but she didn't want to be included in the first place, and she went to her bedroom after lunch). They were in the ballroom, each doing something else to entertain themselves. Will was reading poetry, Jem played violin and Ayaka studied the map of London, learning names of all the streets she had roamed but didn't know their names.

After two hours, Charlotte walked into the room.

"How did it go?" asked Will. "I bet Lightworm had his comments."

Ayaka glanced at Will in question but Jem explained, "He means Lightwood, one of the most famous, influential, and unpleasant families in England."

Everyone cast the silver boy surprised look. Jem raised his hands in defence.

"They _are_ unpleasant! Benedict underestimates Charlotte, and questions her ability to lead the Institute. He's not the perfect example for his younger son Gabriel. Gideon is in Spain now, but last time I saw him, he was quite civil. However, the main problem is that Benedict has been trying to snatch Charlotte's position from her since she got it."

"Benedict sounds like a real ass to me. No wonder you call him worm."

"You swear like a trooper, Ayaka," criticised Charlotte. "I hope you'll be able to restrain yourself for one night."

"Sorry," she apologised but noticed Will's smirk.

"And only Will calls them Lightworms, and I pretend to scold Will every time he does," said Jem with a light smile.

"Aren't you even a little curious how the meeting went?" asked Charlotte a bit impatiently.

They all assured her they wanted to know. Charlotte sat down on one of the chairs, that were moved to the walls, two seats away from Will.

"Firstly, Benedict didn't forget a snide remark about why I'm calling on them two days before the ball."

"He thinks there is nothing better to do at parties than discuss mundane murders. And you took that away from him," said Will with mocking castigation.

"Secondly," continued Charlotte, ignoring Will, "I suggested patrolling. On my surprise, they agreed, although with hesitation when I mentioned you three should be included as well."

"And you were there for two hours just for this?" Will interrupted Charlotte again with raised eyebrows.

"We discussed the party for the rest of the meeting. Oh, and my aunt is looking forward to your song," Charlotte addressed Jem. "She wanted to know what it's about but I told her that even I don't know."

Jem shared her knowing smile.

"Sweet aunt Callida, always crying during his songs," Will explained when he saw Ayaka's confused face.


	11. Chapter 10 - Chocolate and Roses

_Exams are over, the summer semester haven't started yet, so I had more time to write for the past few days. I'm sorry it took a while, but I want to thank everyone for reading, following and adding this story to their favourites :). I really appreciate it._

* * *

Jem's breath was knocked out of his chest when she appeared at the entrance to the ballroom, which was already filled with all the guests. Ayaka was the most beautiful girl in the entire room, he was sure of that. Her gown was the colour of blood with white roses adorning her décolleté, the contrast of the dress with roses and her raven hair, that was coiffured in a way he would never understand, was sharp. He had been imagining what was the third dress she decided to buy, every single one he could think of was beautiful on her but in real life Ayaka looked beyond beautiful. She was striking, and other people noticed as well.

He cursed himself for being at the other end of the room, preparing for the short performance. Jem saw George Penhallow making his way to her. George was always friendly so when he saw how self-conscious she looked, it was logical for him to take up the opportunity to introduce himself. That was, at least, was Jem thought and he wanted to keep thinking that as he noticed her hand being kissed.

He adverted his gaze just when her eyes lifted and began to scan the room. Jem pretended to tune his violin.

 _Why do I have to be such a coward? It_ _'s just Ayaka_ _… in a pretty dress_ _… nothing extraordinary._

"Jem," said a voice next to him and he jumped out.

Charlotte stood there on the stage, looking at him worryingly.

"Are you all right? You're not usually this nervous," she pointed out truthfully.

"I'm fine, it's just…" he stopped himself before he said anything, "nothing. Everything is fine. Don't worry. I won't ruin this and cause you an embarrassment," he assured her.

The song he was about to play was for Charlotte and Henry opening the ball with a dance. It was a tradition that started a year after Will's fiasco with Tatiana as a distraction from that horrible scene. People liked it so much that they wanted him to perform next year and then the year after that, and so on.

"I know you won't," she said kindly. "Do you think everyone is here already?"

Charlotte looked around the ballroom. Her aunt had arrived among the first people and sat closest to the stage. Will was standing at the refreshments table trying to eat everything Sophie and Agatha prepared in a record time. Jessamine was regarding him with disgust. Charlotte also recognized the cold faces of Benedict and Gabriel Lightwood who were talking to the Morgensterns. Tatiana was standing near her family with her fiancé Rupert Blackthorn. One girl caught her eyes. Ayaka. She glanced at Jem for a moment, still adverting his eyes from the crowd.

 _Is she the cause of his discomfort?_ she mused. When Charlotte noticed his flush, she threw away all suspicion behind her back.

Ayaka was being introduced to George's uncle, Consul Wayland. Charlotte clenched her teeth. Even though the young girl should be fine, unless she would try to steal his position from him (which she doubted), Charlotte was still worried.

"Shall we begin, Lottie?" Henry asked her, gently taking her hand as he stood before the stage.

Charlotte looked at him, then Jem who nodded and so they began.

* * *

Ayaka was offered a glass of punch by George. He had been nice to her, while his uncle was very serious.

She turned her attention to the stage, Jem stood in the centre, his figure was illuminating him from above by witchlight. There were other musicians behind him in the dark. Both literally and figuratively speaking. Jem shone as he played the song she had heard dozen times already, but each time it felt different and special.

"This year's song is more optimistic than last year's," whispered George next to her. For a moment Ayaka was annoyed he interrupted her train of thoughts. He went silent afterwards and watched Charlotte and Henry as others.

Ayaka sank back into her images in the mind. She imagined her happy and innocent life in Kyoto, then Tokyo which didn't last long. She skipped all the bad thoughts and concentrated on her and Jem's first meeting.

Although he wasn't a knight in a shining armour, he was still remarkable. Someone you wished to spend every second of your life and wouldn't get tired of it. Someone you wished to look at and admire every inch of. Someone you wished to listen to, understand and learn from. Someone you just wanted to embrace and never let go. Someone you wanted to follow to the deepest corners of the world and conquer all evil. Then you would smile at each other, give support to one another and take care, pay attention to his needs, wishes and deepest secrets and desires he would share with you.

Her vision was glaze over with tears, Ayaka blinked them away. She felt George's eyes on her.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked her.

Ayaka glanced at him briefly and returned her gaze at the stage and people around. The small orchestra was now playing, and guests were dancing to the music.

"Uhm… yes," she answered hesitantly and took his hand.

George proved to be an excellent dance partner except that she couldn't hold his gaze for too long. And eye contact was important as Jem had said. Even though George's eyes were warm, they were watching her almost too closely. A tingle of distrust ran through her. What if he was set up by his uncle to find whether there was something off about her?

One song ended and Ayaka decided she had enough of dancing with him.

"I'm hungry so I'll go and grab something…"

"Let me…"

"No, you don't need to," she interrupted him and walked away.

To her disappointment, everything that looked delicious was eaten because all the chocolate treats were gone. She turned her head to her left and saw Will with a very smug expression on his face.

"Are you serious?" she asked him through gritted teeth.

"There's still pudding."

Ayaka grimaced at him when he mentioned pudding. Was a bit of chocolate too much to ask for?

"You can stuff that pudding up your–"

"Is there any problem?" asked a voice next to Ayaka.

A man with sandy brown hair stood there with a younger girl by his side. She was eyeing her fiercely with her green orbs.

"No problem here, dear Rupert," smirked Will and winked at Tatiana who didn't know who to kill with her stare – Ayaka or Will.

Ayaka didn't even bother to ask what was that wink about and just ignored them. She noticed punch in a large glass bowl and went its direction.

"I think I told you it's not suitable for a lady to drink without any company," said a voice behind her as she reached for the ladle.

She spun on her heel and her saw Jem standing there with his hands behind his back in a black tail coat and bright red waistcoat with golden pattern, differentiating from the rest of male Shadowhunters in the room.

"I'm not a lady," she reminded him.

"You look like one," he insisted on her being a lady in any way possible stubbornly. "Beautiful lady," Jem complimented her shyly, his eyes focused on her dress, missing her rosy cheeks.

"We match."

Jem noticed and was happy about it, he was filled with genuine warmth he rarely felt. He had no idea what the colour of her dress was prior to the ball, he had asked her but the answer he received was, "If you didn't fall asleep, you would know."

"You look handsome in red."

Jem's cheek turned scarlet despite his effort to keep blood out of his face.

"Did you like the song?" he asked her, wanting to change the subject to cool down a little. Although it was unlikely to happen soon while being in her presence.

"Yes," she answered and smiled widely at him. "I don't think words can describe how much I liked it."

Ayaka had to admit she enjoyed watching him blush. It was unspoken expression of what he felt. Considering he was reserved with speaking up his emotions, his blush was precious to her.

"Would you like to dance?"

She didn't have to hesitate this time and placed her hand in his outstretched one not a second later after he asked. Jem led her to the space where other couples danced. He drew her close to him, maybe too close to be considered respectable but they didn't care. She had no issue with keeping the eye contact with Jem.

"Did something happen before you left Will with Tatiana and Rupert?"

Her expression hardened when the fact that Will ate everything she'd wanted to feast upon.

"Your precious parabatai stuffed himself with all the chocolate. I don't think it's healthy and I'm positive that tomorrow morning he's going to be sick."

Jem saw right through her fake concern.

"You're angry because you wanted to eat it all yourself."

"Not all," Ayaka defended herself. "Maybe half of it," she added quietly.

Jem smiled at her.

"We could sneak off into the kitchen, maybe there are some cakes left," he suggested.

"But I'm sure Sophie, Agatha and Thomas want those for themselves… the idea, however, is very appealing."

Jem was quiet for a moment, he regarded her curiously, then he asked, "When is your birthday?"

Ayaka raised her eyebrows at him, she didn't expect this question. "February the third. Why?"

"Charlotte asked me to ask you about it but didn't tell why."

She didn't know whether he spoke the truth or used Charlotte as an excuse to know the date.

"Chinese New Year is on the second, maybe we could celebrate those two special days at once," Jem suggested. "If you don't mind of course."

He was full of surprises. However, she didn't protest his spontaneous decision.

"I would love to. When is your birthday by the way?"

"Eighteenth January."

Jem and Ayaka danced for two more songs, when they were separated by Will who had been sent by Charlotte because she had overheard Benedict complaining about them dancing more than one song together. Ayaka reluctantly let go of the warm embrace. While dancing with Will, she tried to step on his feet as often as possible, hoping to drive him mad and leave her alone. He was more patient than she expected and danced the entire song with her.

After she was done dancing with another man, she managed to leave the ballroom unnoticed. She had noticed Jem was nowhere to be seen and she got worried. With a last glance at Charlotte and Will, she sneaked out of the ballroom.

Ayaka climbed the stairs and made her way to his room, following her intuition. She had stopped in the music room, but he wasn't there. Jem knelt in his room, one hand was gripping the trunk at the foot of his bed and the other was covering his mouth, hiding all the blood he was coughing.

"Jem!" Ayaka cried out with fright and ran to him.

He protested and pointed at the _yin fen_ box on his bedside table. Ayaka hurried with his medicine, silently hoped she used the right amount of the drug and knelt next to him with the murky water. Jem was still coughing, blood coming out of his mouth violently. His whole body was shaking, including his hands. Ayaka doubted he would be able to hold the glass without spilling everything. She pressed the rim of the glass to his mouth and he drank thankfully.

"Oh, Jem. It's all right," she whispered, not sure if it was to him or her, while she stroked the back of his head.

When he finished drinking, he half-consciously leaned against her, breathing heavily. She hugged him close to her body and held him, dismissing the fact that he accidentally got blood on the fake roses. Ayaka gently rocked him in her arms like a baby, but she didn't mind and kept saying calming words to him.

After a short hesitation, she kissed the top of his head and buried her hand in the silver hair, savouring the feel of silky strands between her fingers. The tang of the drug hung in the air, mixed with the smell of his skin and the perfume Sophie put on her.

"I'm so sorry," he rasped after long minutes of silence.

Ayaka rolled her eyes. "Don't apologise. I already told you not to apologise. Are you better now?"

He moved his head against her chest to give her a nod. She let out a breath.

"Thank the Angel. Good that I decided to come up here."

"Too much dancing," he said weakly.

"Was it the dancing that caused this?"

"I took it early this morning. I was up at five."

Ayaka nodded in understanding and caressed his back.

"You should sleep in the bed, not on me," she joked when she felt his muscles relax even more against her.

He didn't say anything and eventually began to pull away. With the help of his hands, he climbed on the bed and sat there. Jem wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt, some blood that had already dried was still on his face and the hand. She watched his eyes fall on her cleavage.

"I ruined your dress."

Ayaka snorted and kept watching him.

"It doesn't matter to me. I can't breathe in them properly anyway and waited for that moment of taking them off."

"I should probably clean all the mess," he said instead to distract himself from the imagery, his cheeks were red enough already.

"Do you want me to help?"

"No," he rejected her offer quickly. "You have already helped and I'm extremely grateful for that. I can't have you do anything else."

She was slightly disappointed but saw his underlying meaning – he didn't want her to nurse him more. Ayaka didn't blame him for feeling that wat.

"If anything, it should be me asking you whether you need help," he said.

Ayaka looked at him with mischievous glint in her eyes. She surprised herself for the bold request she was about to ask but it _was_ necessary.

"There is one thing you could help me with."

Still on her knees, she turned her back to him and said, "Do you see that top button? I don't want to bother Sophie with it. I can do the rest but that top button is a bit difficult to undo with my own hands." She looked behind her shoulder uncertainly.

Jem glanced away and gulped. He reached for the pearl button that separated her bare skin from the skin under the fabric. One movement of his fingers and it was unbuttoned. She let him feel the smooth skin against his joints for a second longer before standing up.

She looked down at him and thanked him.

"If you need anything, I'm right across the hall. All right?"

Jem nodded, feeling dizzy all of a sudden but held her gaze.

Ayaka spun sharply at the spot as Will walked into the room, she didn't want him to see the pearl Jem unbuttoned. He had already thought the worst of her.

"You really are incapable of knocking, aren't you?" asked Jem, expressing his irritation openly.

"What happened?" Will frowned as he noticed the blood on the corner Jem's lips and Ayaka's gown.

Jem was silent, adverting his gaze. Ayaka felt it was the moment to leave.

"I suppose I should leave you then," she said, exchanged one last look with Jem and left his room.

Jem got off the bed and went to his armchair where he had left his nightclothes and started changing. Will hopped on the bed and stretched his legs.

"First, you don't knock and second, you don't even take your shoes off when you lie down on my bed. It's disgusting to walk around with your shoes on everywhere," criticised Jem without even looking at him and went behind the screen to wash off the blood.

When he came out, he glanced at Will and lied down next to him.

"She helped you?" Will asked.

"Yes, and not just that. She saved my life," Jem replied quietly.

To be honest, it was harder for Will to play the boy who hated Ayaka even more than ever. Now Will was in debt because she "saved" his parabatai to be consumed by the drug's withdrawal.

"She's so unlike anyone I have ever met, Will. Maybe except you."

"I'm quite a special person," said Will in a cocky manner. "Are you sure you want to compare her to me?"

"You can't dislike her for whatever reason you dislike her. And I don't believe you hate her. I just don't see that hate," said Jem stubbornly and closed his eyes.

"I ate 'all the chocolate'," Will mocked her by raising the pitch of his voice. "Isn't that enough of an evidence?"

"Maybe according to her. Don't worry, she'll recognise your charming personality soon," Jem assured his parabatai with a load of amusement in his voice. The last thing he felt was Will's chapped lips on his temple.

* * *

 _Just to let you know that I didn't just come up with 2nd February being the New Chinese Year 1878, I've looked it up._

 _And for the song Jem played at the ball I chose EXO's Sing for You. Check out this violin cover by JunCurryAhn: www . youtube watch?v=790hP5gFquY . His violin covers are absolutely amazing! He's sort of like a real Jem in real world. :D_


	12. Chapter 11 - Fly on the Wall

_It's ironic that during the semester I didn't write much, but now that I'm supposed to study for the exam, I'm writing this fanfic. I usually write when I'm the busiest in my uni life._

 _This chapter contains some sexual content so either skip to the last parts of the chapter, because the end of this chapter and beginning of the next are linked._

 _I hope the smutty parts are not weird. I tried to build some sexual tension, so I hope it's not very cringey. It was slightly inspired by the fanfic_ Fairy Induced Passions _by rltditmi. Go check it out if you want, it's fun if you like Herongraystairs. Sadly tltditmi wrote only that one story, I wish there was more :D._

 _This chapter is also a little bit longer than usual because of the smut; I'd needed to write something else in the chapter besides that so don't worry, there's some kind of a plot and development. I can promise you the next chapter is more exciting, because something terrible happens *evil laugh*._

 _I hope you'll like it :)._

 _P.S. Thanks to everyone who favourited or followed the fanfic. I appreciate it. :) And thanks, Katie, for the compliment :)._

* * *

The patrols the Enclave located throughout entire London were not very successful in getting nowhere near finding the killer. They found third victim without head and the note, which had 三 on it, four days after New Year's Eve. The dead young woman was hidden carefully in the area of Vauxhall. One of the Shadowhunters came to the Institute to give the note to Charlotte. It had been decided that all the notes would be delivered to the Head of the Institute and she would keep them in her office. Since those pieces of paper had magic on them, they had to be stored, then examined by Ragnor Fell.

Jem and Ayaka practiced whenever they could, Will joined them often, which surprised Ayaka. Their relationship grew into something of a mutual respect regarding the fighting skills. But it was hard to stop sarcastic comments. At least they kept Jem amused.

* * *

Thomas drew Ayaka, Jem and Will to Whitechapel where they were ordered by Charlotte to guard the streets of the slums.

"I'll wait here just in case there's trouble," Thomas told them when they stepped out of the carriage.

Will nodded. Jem thanked Thomas and started walking one direction.

It was a dark night but when they got to the deeper parts of the streets, it wasn't as ghostly anymore. People were leaning against the wall, their dirty hands outstretched while begging openly. Some didn't bother and pickpocketed anyone who looked richer than they did. Ayaka found it difficult to believe she was one of them and was glad she wore glamour so no mundane could see her. She used to be that pickpocket who stole food and some knives, she was also that woman who stood by the entrance of a brothel, her body barely covered. It was worse in the summer because of all the heat and humidity, everything smelled terrible. She noticed the thin layer of snow covering the ground. The air bit her cheeks but didn't bite her nose with the stench as much as it would normally have.

Jem noticed her tense posture and reached to take her hand and squeeze slightly in reassurance. She glanced up at him thankfully and he nudged her a bit closer to his body.

"I think if we climb on the roofs, we'll get better view of what's happening," proposed Will and smirked at Ayaka. "At least, you'll have the opportunity to show off."

"I don't feel the need to show off… unlike someone," Ayaka fired back.

* * *

They walked and observed the slums from the roofs. They didn't notice anything unusual. Will was three roofs ahead Jem and Ayaka, his back stooped in a sulky manner. Ayaka threw Jem a look.

"Is he all right? Looks a bit grumpy to me," she pointed out in a hushed voice so that Will wouldn't hear her.

"Yesterday Gabriel came to report about his patrol to Charlotte. He's Will's 'archenemy'."

She hummed. "Yea, I noticed Will looking Gabriel's way few times during the party. It was quite annoying."

Jem chuckled. "Imagine living with it for years. Reminds me, have you forgiven Will for the chocolate yet?"

Ayaka held her head high and stubbornly shook it. "He hasn't apologised, so no, I haven't. He'll pay for it one day."

"Will's scared of ducks if you needed inspiration for the revenge."

She stared at him with surprised wide eyes. "Ducks? They're not the scariest bird on the Earth."

Jem laughed heartily. "Try telling _him_ that."

"Don't bother, I hear everything," yelled Will.

Before either Jem or Ayaka could reply, they were thrown off their feet, including Will. Jem almost slipped off the roof as he had been walking close to the edge. He saw in the corner of his eye Ayaka shielding her head with arms on the stone roof and he let out a breath of relief but started coughing immediately from the powder that covered them.

"What the hell is this thing?" Ayaka asked angrily after she rose herself up on her elbows and glared at the light-yellow powder that was all over their gear and hair. It didn't smell like anything but it was making their skin tingle slightly.

They all got up and dusted themselves off.

"Are you all right?" asked Jem, aiming the question at both of them.

"Yes."

They turned to look at the building that was blown off. Instead of the building, there were only huge rocks and dust of all sorts of colours. People screamed, some were hurt by the explosion and yelled for help.

"It's one of the ifrit dens. And this," Will swept his finger over the bits of the yellow powder on his forearm, "is a faerie powder."

"Kuso!" she cursed and the boys knew she did as they regarded her with wide eyes. "What? I'm being nice for cussing in Japanese not English."

"And we thank you for being so considerate," said Will sarcastically.

"You're welcome."

Jem didn't approve of swearing but she was strangely adorable when those vulgar words came out of her. He focused on the uproar down on the street and fought back the warmth that spread over him. He caught a glimpse of a familiar figure.

"Look."

It was Orochi with his minions, standing in a safe distance from the mayhem. He talked to another male figure in expensive clothing but they didn't see his face, it was hidden below his hat and he stood with his back turned to the three Nephilim.

"Should we go closer?" asked Ayaka in such a way that it didn't matter what Jem's and Will's answers would be, she would still go.

"Yes, but let's crawl, I don't want to risk them seeing us," suggested Jem.

They got on their fours and lowered themselves to the surface of the roof. The trio halted when they were above Mr. Mizushima and the other men.

"I hope it's worth it. Otherwise it will be a big loss for both of us."

Orochi nodded with grim expression on his face.

"Maybe she'll show herself after this."

Ayaka slammed her hand against her mouth as she gasped. Jem had told her Will overheard them talking about her before, however, seeing and hearing it personally made it all more real.

 _You monster_ , she thought and silently hoped her uncle would hear it.

"What was the purpose of this? To scare me?" asked Ayaka quietly.

"Or to threaten you using Jem's addiction," whispered Will.

Ayaka and Jem looked at him surprised. Will rolled his eyes.

"Someone must've seen you two together."

"And from that they deduce... what?" asked Ayaka but silence was the only answer she got.

* * *

They went back to where Thomas waited. Fortunately, he didn't comment on their appearance. Surely, he had heard the noise and connected the dots.

Ayaka felt more and more dizzy and was glad to finally sit down. She massaged her temples, Jem sitting next to her, their legs touching slightly, didn't help. She guessed the powder made her feel Jem's body heat more than ever. All she wanted was to lean closer but Will sat opposite them, messing his hair to get the powder out.

Jem turned his gaze from Will to the flushed girl beside him.

"Are you all right?"

Ayaka looked back and said, "I think I am. His hatred is not surprising anymore."

Jem gulped, hesitated for a moment and nodded. He sensed she wasn't telling the truth but didn't pry. Ayaka appreciated this trait of his. Not many people had it.

* * *

Sophie was still awake, to everybody's surprise, they had heard her voice from the kitchen talking to Agatha about tomorrow's lunch. The maid agreed to help Ayaka, Jem and Will said they can take care of the mess themselves.

After she finally lied in bed, Ayaka found herself restless. Her body was tired but her brain protested. Instead, it decided to wander off to Jem, which it happened often for the past few days. And after what she and the boys saw today, she didn't want to think about Orochi for the rest of the night. Ayaka wanted to enjoy the luxury of not thinking about her uncle, the murderer and the victims.

Jem's birthday was coming up slowly and she still haven't thought of the perfect gift. Buying him something for his violin was too cliché, weapons were a good present but not good enough for a boy who made her want to live again. She felt so silly for thinking of him so often. Last time she obsessed over a boy was when she was ten and fancied Hikaru, the son of her parents' close friends.

Now she spent time pondering over the half-Chinese boy, his genuine smile and honest but polite words which were not aimed to hurt anyone. It was ridiculous especially when her mind made her think of his looks and body, which was definitely stronger than it looked. But merely the shape of it wasn't enough to satisfy that corner of her brain. She had always wished to be with someone she truly loved and savour every glance, every touch, every kiss.

Her mind raced towards a memory from yesterday. Jem helped her with arrow shooting. It wasn't her favourite weapon, bow and arrow, but Jem was fairly good at it. He humbly thanked her but then said it was thanks to his mother. A great deal of pride coloured his voice.

 _"Your elbow must be relaxed but not completely loose,_ _" he told her._

 _"Right._ _"_

 _He stood before her, with his hand cupping her elbow. She felt his warm touch through the fabric of the training gear. Thanks to her short height, Ayaka had a view of his sharp jawline and pale neck. She swallowed and tore her gaze from the place where his skin disappeared under the collar._

 _"Are you paying attention?_ _"_

 _She did but not what he wanted her to._ _"Yes._ _"_

 _Jem sighed, his breath warming the top of her head._ _"We_ _'ll see. Fire._ _"_

 _She missed the centre by one circle. Ayaka glanced up as his lips formed the optimistic sentence,_ _"At least you_ _'re improving._ _"_

 _He had really nice lips._

She felt her insides flutter at the possibility of Jem kissing her right there in the training room. She wondered what would his lips taste like. _Yin fen_ or something that was purely his? Ayaka liked the image of his hands being gentle against her skin but also rough when needed. She would allow him to touch her however he wished. She knew he wouldn't hurt her.

The heat from her stomach spread all over her body and she pushed the blanket, that had begun to feel uncomfortably heavy, off her body. She sighed when the cold air hit her, her nipples were already hard with desire. It didn't usually happen, men had to touch them or tear the clothes off her body for the nipples to stiffen, there had been no longing or want on her side.

Ayaka massaged her breasts for a while, imagining his hands and lips touching them, then her hand moved lower. She gripped the fabric of her shortened nightgown and exposed herself to the dark room. Her fingers found her wetness quickly. All that juice made just by thinking of what it would be like if it was Jem touching her with those long fingers. She could no longer tell difference between the effects of the faerie powder and her own supressed feelings for the silver-haired boy.

She gasped as she slowly slid two fingers inside her folds. Ayaka felt herself tighten against the digits and started moving them slowly. Her thumb found her nub and rubbed. She bit her lower lip just in case she would make too much noise. Ayaka added third finger and quickened the pace. Her back arched in the wave of pleasure that ran through her.

"Jem," she whispered his name into the room filled with her ragged breathing.

* * *

Jem pressed himself against the closed door. His eyes and mouth were wide open due to the sight he just witnessed.

He had been on his way from Will's room with his hair washed clean, he had wanted to change back into clean clothes as soon as possible but Will wasn't making it easier when he complained about Jem's "hair washing abilities." He heard panting coming out of Ayaka's room. Naturally, he was worried she had a nightmare or maybe even cried secretly after the earlier events of the night. Jem was wrong. After he opened the door a few inches, he froze on the spot and gaped at Ayaka. He couldn't see much in the dark but what he did see still made him a bit shaken. Her blankets were moved aside, she was moving rhythmically to the pleasure her hand was making between her legs. Jem expected his face would ignite from the half of his blood that didn't go to his lower parts.

After what felt like hours of standing there, he collected himself and closed the door quietly, hoping she wouldn't notice. And apparently, she didn't because that was when she whispered his name.

He walked awkwardly to the screen and started undressing himself fast. He had been breathing in enough of the yellow powder which made it all worse… or better.

He had liked Ayaka for a while but he didn't want to pressure her into anything. He wasn't sure if she liked him. Now he was even more confused. Was she just thinking of him out of lust created probably by the powder or was it more than that? Did the answer matter? He was dying. What future was there for them even if she did love him?

Jem stripped down to his underpants and could clearly see the response of his body to what he had seen. It wasn't the first time he experienced this, but he didn't see any particular reason for it before. For a moment, he thought of that night Ayaka slept in his bed and was glad it didn't happen then. It would have been embarrassing. On top of that, she needed comfort and a friend.

But during the past few days, something felt different. He felt her presence more intensely. Jem was aware of every look and every fleeting touch. He inhaled the flowery smell encircling her body whenever he got close enough. It was a torture not to lean in closer, hug her, taste her full lips, then bury his face in her neck and trace the skin with his lips. Yesterday he helped her with bow and arrow and had to fight hard to restrain himself from doing just that.

He remembered how she teased him after saving his life. He couldn't forget the warm skin of the back under his fingers. He had unbuttoned the pearl button too quickly.

Jem sat down on his bed and let out a shaky breath. He ached badly from the desire to be touched. After he heard a soft moan in the distance, he couldn't hesitate anymore.

Jem didn't see the pre-cum in the dark but felt it as he ran his thumb the top of his shaft. A shudder of pleasure came down his spine. His erect cock was hard under his touch. He closed his eyes. The effects of the faerie powder helped him to give himself completely to the sensation easily.

Jem's hand was too big for his liking, his mind jumped to Ayaka and how small her hand would be. Would she be able to wrap her hand fully around him? The image in his head of her kneeling in front of him excited him even more.

He pumped up and down slowly at first, pressing his lips together to prevent anyone from hearing his heavy breathing. He was thinking of her and what it would be like if she touched him. Jem tightened his grip around his cock and pumped faster. It was becoming harder and harder to repress his groans. But he was a master of self-control and patience, being Will's parabatai for so long, he could manage.

In his ears, he still heard that sweet soft voice cloaked with passion. It was only him she was thinking about.

 _Jem._

He shook as he came. Jem felt the sticky wetness of his semen all over his hand and his cock. He needed to clean the mess he made but his body couldn't respond to his orders to get up yet. He didn't even notice when he had fallen back on the mattress.

* * *

Ayaka walked through the dining room door the next morning and the clatter of the silverware against china resonated loudly in the quiet room. Everyone's eyes turned to Jem who had dropped the knife with which he put jam on his toast.

"I'm sorry," he apologised with a sheepish smile and blush on his face.

Ayaka sat down opposite to Jem and eyed him suspiciously.

"Is something wrong?" she asked with a small frown.

He swallowed a piece of his toast with some difficulty. He had to admit she was good at pretending nothing happened yesterday but then… she did think nothing happened, probably. Ayaka didn't know he saw her. She also didn't know what he did after he got to his bedroom. Or at least he hoped.

"No," he answered without looking at her.

* * *

Jem had acted strange for the past two weeks. When he was able to look into her eyes again, every time he did, he blushed. She even beat him three times during their duels. Ayaka started to worry he wouldn't want to go out with her on his birthday. She had come up with few ideas and decided to show him her favourite place in London and just talk. She wasn't good at giving gifts and didn't want him to think she was selfish by showing him her special place and not buy him something that may had a bigger value to him.

Agatha was surprised when Ayaka offered to help her and Sophie with a cake but agreed nonetheless. They were all, including Agatha, Sophie and Thomas, eating it in the drawing room. They had all congratulated Jem and he blew the candles. To Ayaka's surprise, he didn't receive any gifts. She believed that's how he wanted it because he didn't look disappointed by the frugal celebration.

There weren't enough seats so Ayaka sat down on a cushion between a sofa and armchair. Jem was on one side and Charlotte on the other.

"Ayaka helped with the cake and I think she did a nice job," said Agatha and glanced at Jem with amusement in her eyes, "Do you like it?"

The silver-haired boy looked down at the girl who coloured in her cheeks after the praise. She ignored Jessamine's scoff and focused on Jem.

"Yes, I do like it. You know how to bake?"

"'Know' is a bit strong word. When I cracked an egg a piece of eggshell fell into the flour and I was trying to catch it for five minutes."

Will laughed. "I bet you were cursing it for the entire time."

Ayaka smirked at him, "I wouldn't laugh if I were you. I didn't say I caught it. As far as you know, I may have left it there and now I'm waiting for you to choke on it."

"You wish."

* * *

After dinner, Jem retrieved to his room but his solitude didn't last long when he heard a knock. For a second he thought it was Will with some crazy idea to get Jem drunk but when he opened the door, his eyes met with dark chocolate instead of violet-blue.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked her after he noticed that she was dressed in a gear.

She smiled at him. Suddenly he felt the urge to draw her closer to him and kiss that smile.

"No. _We_ are."

* * *

When they were peacefully sitting on a roof of a small shop and viewed the looming St. Paul's Cathedral before them, Ayaka said, "I wanted to show you this site, it's my favourite from the whole city. It's your birthday, I wanted you to go out with me instead of just being in your room playing violin. Maybe it's a stupid gift…"

"No," Jem interrupted her. "It's not stupid. I'm glad you showed me because I've been thinking about taking you to my favourite place."

Thanks to the lit street lamps, he could see her eyes brightened. The people were walking on the street below them but they didn't see them, and Ayaka with Jem ignored the sound of their shoes and voices.

"Maybe we could go there tonight as well. If you want to."

Ayaka nodded and fixed her eyes on the Cathedral.

"Why is this Cathedral your favourite?" Jem asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I used to come here as often as I could," she replied. "I sat here on this roof because it's easy to climb. And I've been sitting and thinking of my life, my family and friends." And her uncle, but Ayaka didn't tell him that because it would make the atmosphere gloomier. "Sometimes I imagined myself to be one of the tourists walking inside the Cathedral. I imagined what it would be like... to be one of them."

Jem gathered his courage and took her hand to provide some comfort. She gladly tightened her grip.

"Sometimes I wonder about the same thing you do. How our lives would've been different," said Jem, and there was silence between them until Jem spoke again, "It offers a nicer view than the one from Blackfriars Bridge. I like it here. But it's not as solitary."

"That's because it's not two in the morning," she said with a smile. "Do you want to go to the Bridge now?"


	13. Chapter 12 - When I Look at You

_Title is also a name of Miley Cyrus song, which I really like and is an inspiration for the whole Ayaka & Jem ship._

 _Also, the plot actually thickens in this one._

 _I hope you'll like this chapter :). Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review/favorite/follow :)._

* * *

Jem leaned against the red parapet of the Blackfriars Bridge, his cane in his hand and watched the Thames flow in the dark night.

"I don't know why you were complaining, the view is not that bad."

He wasn't sure whether she was truly speaking of dirty river banks and industrial buildings. Jem glanced at her. Ayaka seemed to be deep in her thoughts but happy.

"Is there something on your mind?" he asked her.

Jem was not usually very curious, but he wanted to hear what she was thinking.

"I should be asking you that question," she answered and looked at him closely. "You've been acting strange lately."

Jem raised his eyebrows at her. "Have I?"

Then it hit him, and he adverted his gaze to watch the waves illuminated by the moonlight. She was referring to him behaving like a fool around her because he had seen something he shouldn't have, it was wrong of him, and he felt embarrassed by his actions. Jem thought of her in a way he never allowed himself to think of any girl before.

However, he couldn't tell her that. His death might hurt her, and he wouldn't forgive himself for that.

Ayaka was watching his sad face. Jem was very careful about showing his feelings and seeing him so downcast caused her heart to clutch with ache. She desperately wanted to comfort him, but she was too scared he would think she pitied him and he didn't need that.

She stepped a bit closer and covered his hand on the cane. His eyes met hers and the sad emotion was gone, replaced by curiosity.

"Whatever's bothering you, you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable. I just hope that one day you'll trust me with your feelings," she said and gave him a small smile.

His face softened.

After a moment of hesitation, he asked, "What do you think of marriage?"

Ayaka's eyes widened comically. "When I said 'one day', I didn't mean this one."

Jem chuckled, fully aware of his stupid question.

"I'm not asking for your hand. I'm just curious if you ever thought about getting married?"

"When I was little," she sighed heavily, "I used to like a boy and even daydreamed about marrying him. But I was young and stupid."

She looked like she wanted to tell him something more but hesitated.

There were so many things he and others didn't know. She was sure that after she was saved and examined by the Silent Brother, Charlotte was informed about her… condition. After a full year in _East Magic_ , she figured it out herself and, seeing the prostitutes giving birth and some of them dying in front of her eyes, she reconciled with the harsh reality. But her upbringing whispered her how worthless she was every time she thought of it. That's why she avoided even thinking of such topics like family, marriage… children. Her parents once told her that a family without children is an empty one. She didn't want to believe that.

"Now I don't see the point in marriage. If I ever loved anyone, I would love him even without the runes to prove it," Ayaka said while casting a blank expression over the river.

 _Or without children_ , she thought.

"You have a point. There isn't much chance of me getting married either."

She aimed her dark eyes his direction.

"I'm sorry your birthday is so depressing."

Jem smiled, and he meant it. He covered the hand that was still holding him, she hadn't even noticed she didn't pull away.

"Just because this is the day I was born seventeen years ago, it doesn't mean it's more special than any other day."

He was pragmatic, and he was right. But to Ayaka his birthday was special, and he deserved to know.

"But _you_ are special," she told him. "Not just to me but to others as well. And I cannot thank you enough for being who you are."

A loud scream screech interrupted their moment. They broke the eye contact and spun in the direction of the scream. Both Shadowhunters sprang the opposite way they'd come from to Blackfriars Road, air swishing in their ears.

"Ayaka!"

The girl turned to look behind her shoulder to see Jem leaning over the parapet. She stopped.

"He's gone. But the body's down there."

Their feet rattled in the quiet night against the stones of the riverside as they rushed to the dead body of a headless man in ragged clothing. A familiar piece of paper lain on his chest, Ayaka picked it up and showed it to Jem.

四

生日快樂

"So, this is the fourth one. Is the murderer wishing me a happy birthday?"

"He's very cocky, this guy," said Ayaka disapprovingly and frowned at the paper.

"How many more?" he asked almost desperately.

A shook of her head was the answer. The worst part of all this was that they couldn't catch him… or her. He didn't have any pattern that would make it easier for the Nephilim to predict his next murder. The killer was arrogant but careful.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here on your birthday? It's safer that way."

Jem had asked her that question before – on their way to the Institute, and Ayaka's answer was the same.

She sat on his bed, changed into nightgown with dressing gown over it, while Jem was in his armchair tuning his violin. He was restless after taking a bit of the drug and also from the short adventure on the Bridge.

"No, I don't want to sit here. Besides, Japan doesn't celebrate Lunar New Year anymore."

Jem fixed his eyes on her after that statement. Ayaka just shrugged, trying to act nonchalant but failing.

"When I moved to California with my uncle, I wanted to celebrate it but he told me, Japan adopted the Gregorian calendar. He said it was a step towards progress," she scoffed, "and that I shouldn't worry about it anyway… as a Nephilim. To be honest, I liked celebrating the Japanese New Year because of the food not the new year itself."

Jem smiled at that.

"I see you have your priorities set."

She shrugged again but with a playful look. Then she turned curious.

"Do you go out and celebrate every year?"

"No. I went when I'd come to London just because everything was so different for me then. I missed home," he explained calmly. "I went next year with Will. He enjoyed it but said the Welsh dragon is much better looking."

"Yea, sure. Whatever makes him feel better," she said in haughty manner and tossed a strand of hair behind her shoulder.

Jem let out a short laugh. She gave him a cheeky grin. He thought of how beautiful she was, even when she tried to impersonate Jessamine's way of talking. Jem was sinking in the lips, eyes ablaze with joy and black hair that created a curtain around her face.

"Jem, I've been looking for you. It's only nine, we should go out and celebrate!"

Here it was. Jem sighed in his mind and glanced at the door. Will barged in again and stared at Ayaka on Jem's bed. After torturous seconds of silence, it was broken by Will's cold baritone.

"At least lock your door–"

Jem interrupted him, "At least knock first. How many times do I have to tell you?"

Will didn't answer and just leant against the doorframe.

"There's been another killing. Right under our nose," said Jem in more serious tone. "The murderer wished me happy birthday."

The black-haired boy scowled. "He wrote something else besides a number?"

"Yes, he wrote happy birthday… in Chinese. I already gave it to Charlotte."

Will's eyes focused on the girl. "That should leave your uncle out."

Ayaka smacked her face with one of the pillows.

"No, baka!*" she yelled into the pillow then pulled it away to see Jem's smirk and Will's offended face. "It wouldn't be hard to write 'happy birthday' in Chinese since we are thought the characters from the moment we're able to hold the brush in our hands."

Ayaka slid off the bed, stormed to the door and turned to the boys. She gave Jem a sweet smile, wished him goodnight and with a last irritated glare at Will left.

"You really like her, don't you? There must be something that keeps you so immune to her antics."

Jem ran his hand through his hair and tugged on the violin strings absentmindedly. After a long silence he said, "I try not to. But it's difficult. She'll only be hurt."

After a moment of silence, he added, "Anyway, I seem to attract people with mad behaviour. I got used to it by now."

* * *

Two bodies were found at the end of January and the seventh mundane was killed two days before Ayaka's birthday. Two women and a man from East End. Ragnor had written them prior to the seventh murder to deliver the notes to him after seventh body, and he would work on cracking the magic on them.

Jem's joints hurt painfully with the slow withdrawal of _yin fen_ , and with all the weight of weapons he had carried from the patrol with Will. They were the ones who found the seventh body at Victoria embankment before Jem was yanked into the river by something Will falsely assumed to be Leviathan demon**.

A wet trail followed Jem's still soaked body. Will had gone off to East End to investigate and Jem just wanted a warm bath and a dose of the drug that would loosen the pain.

* * *

Eavesdropping is bad. No one should be doing it. Except Jem when he heard suspicious noises from the kitchen. First, he heard a groan, then a slapping sound of something he could only guess what is was against wood.

"How's it going?" Agatha asked.

"It's hard but I think I'm doing well," Ayaka answered with heavy breath.

Jem's imagination wasn't as vivid as Will's but at that moment he was imagining all sorts of things.

 _She's probably just preparing something… to eat,_ he thought.

The slapping sound stopped.

"Oh, that might be a bit short or… not? Hmm… I guess we'll see. Thank you."

Jem tentatively opened the door and peeked inside. Ayaka had apron tied over her pink komon. While she was rolling dough on a countertop, Agatha was stirring something on a pan that looked like a mix of vegetables.

Ayaka looked at wide-eyed Jem in the doorway and chuckled at his rosy cheeks.

"I wanted to make something Chinese but easy to cook. So, we're making dumplings."

Realisation hit Jem's face and tried to act casual.

"Oh, that's great. Uhm… but you have to eat them after midnight, it'll bring you prosperity or… something like that. I may have forgotten... I don't really believe in such things," he was rambling, "Can I help you with it?" he asked, pointing at the dough.

Ayaka looked from Jem to the dough.

"It's not ideal, is it?"

"No," Jem reassured her quickly, but examined it closely. "Maybe they need to be a little thinner...?"

She gave him incredulous look. "How do you even know that?"

He stepped closer to her working space. "Sometimes I spent free time in the kitchen and study there."

"Must have been noisy. No?"

Jem just shrugged and didn't elaborate. He took the rolling pin from her hand and Ayaka stopped him from moving to the dough. He watched her as she undid the buttons of his white shirt and rolled his sleeved up. Jem's breath hitched in his throat at the slight contact of her fingers against the skin of his wrist and forearm.

"You don't want to dirty yourself."

With the last smile and the brush of her fingertips, Ayaka turned around and sprinkled flour on the dough.

* * *

Chinese sailors sang songs and danced to the music some of them played. There were some women too, celebrating as well. Two Shadowhunters sat on one of the Limehouse roofs, ate dumplings they made (they were too hungry to wait after midnight) and watched the scene.

"Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't even know why I suggested this," said the silver-haired boy.

"There's nothing wrong with this," the girl sitting next to him replied. "They have the right to celebrate."

After a minute of silence between them, Ayaka spoke up again, "So you would just sit here and watch them get drunk?"

"I told you I missed home. Drinking and singing is part of the celebration... for some people. Of course, not everyone is like this."

Ayaka chuckled, then Jem finished what he'd wanted to say, "I had murder on my birthday. Here's what you have."

"Oh, thank you," she placed a hand on her chest dramatically.

Wind was tangling Jem's hair in all directions and Ayaka watched for a while with pensive smile on her face. When she noticed a silver iris move her direction, she quickly glanced away. It was rude to stare.

"We should go back soon."

Right after Jem finished the sentence a loud piercing screech resonated between the buildings behind them.

Two dahak demons were positioned at each end of the alley. Their huge mouths with fangs were open, letting out horrible inhuman sound. Two out of their six legs were pointing at the Nephilim on the roof in a challenging manner. Ayaka and Jem leaped off the building and each run opposite direction, weapons out ready to slay them.

The dahak Ayaka was about to cut in half with a seraph blade started moving away from her with a skittering sound against the ground. It surprised her. Most of the times they didn't hesitate to attack first.

She rounded third corner quickly, but she felt a massive arm around her waist and handkerchief that smelled sweetly of chloroform pressed against her nose. The last thing she did before losing consciousness was stabbing the person's stomach.

* * *

Jem dropped to his knees the moment he opened the giant door of the Institute. His ichor-covered cane and Ayaka's seraph blade, that was coloured with blood, laid next to him as he covered his face with his hands, trying to compose himself.

He had lost her. He'd been searching streets for an hour and there was no sign of her. The only thing he had found was her blade. He rushed to the Institute to find Will to track her down using the blade, he didn't feel strong enough to do it on his own.

Jem felt his eyes watering, but he refused to cry. He had to find Will.

"James!" Right on time.

The silver boy looked up and his parabatai froze on the spot when saw the desperation on Jem's face.

"William," Jem spoke in weak voice.

Will kneeled in front of him, grabbing his shoulders.

"What happened?" he asked, regarding Jem's bloody gash on the white neck.

Jem took in staggering breath, then gulped heavily and supported himself by grasping Will's upper arms.

"There were dahak demons… I chased after one and Ayaka after the other," he paused to inhale a bit of air. "After I killed one, I ran in her direction but… I-I couldn't find her anywhere. I only found her blade," Jem gestured to the weapon on the stone floor. "We need to track her. We have to find where she is, William," his grip tightened and stared frantically in his parabatai's blue eyes. "If she's still alive."

"All right, James. We will, but you have to calm down first!"

Jem nodded slowly, Will wasn't even sure he was listening.

Charlotte and Henry walked into the hall from Henry's crypt. Both with worried expressions as they saw the two boys on the floor.

"What is going on?"

"I think Ayaka was kidnapped," Jem answered Charlotte's question before Will even opened his mouth.

"On her birthday? But I forgot to give her the gift I made for her," said Henry into the silence of the shock Jem's words caused.

* * *

 _*stupid_

 _**reference to shadowhunters . wikia wiki /The_Infernal_Devices/Extras#On_the_Bridge - you need to read all the extras! they're amazing!_


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